The Phantom of an Oblivious Past
by Gwen Truong
Summary: Sequel to "Go home with me". Zero was saved by Kaname and they "accidentally" had a night together. He would like to repay the pureblood's kindness and take responsibility, however, could it be a good beginning for a romance when Kaname was twenty year older, with a serious physical deformation and a mysterious past? Zero x Kaname
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer**__: The manga and the characters belong to Hino Matsuri._

_**A/N**__: __This story takes place 5 years after the happy ending of "__**Go home with me**__". If you haven't read it yet, I would recommend you to take a look, though this story was originally planned to be independent. In fact, "Go home with me" was an alternative prequel. The true prequel should be written by __**Irmina**__. I really hope one day she will write it. It's a lovely ZK story of the ten year old Zero trying to convince the twenty year old Kaname to fall in love with him and wait for him to grow up :-) I increased their age gap and made both of them adults in my alternative._

_Here starts the first chapter:_

**- CHAPTER ****1**** -**

Winter once again returned to Hokkaido, bringing its piercing coldness and an ocean of snow to weave a new coat for the surface of earth. Darkness slowly fell down, tonight a new year was coming.

Most of people over the country, wherever life brought them to, had returned home, gathering with their beloved families, despite that the finishing year had been good or tough, to celebrate those precious moments, to greet a new, fresh start, to give one another their best wishes, and to thoroughly feel they were loved and cared. Unfortunately, there were some people who had a place to stay, but not a home, had many social relations, but not a family. And in the festive, merry ambiance of a New Year's Eve, they were solitary.

The dark, tranquil forest was almost empty, except a young man who was standing in silence under a tall, ancient tree. The lantern hanging on a branch spread a dim light, embracing his still shadow, which was lying on the snow-covered ground.

Five years ago, he also had a big family to return in this season. His home town was blessed with a warm winter, his family was the most famous hunter family in history, his father was proud of his early achievements, and his mother counted each and every day of the year until she could see him again. Five years ago, in the New Year's Eve, Shizuka Hio came with a group of E vampires to take vengeance for her ex-human lover and destroyed his home. As a miracle, he survived, though it was his most regret, since he had to bury each member of his beloved family by his own hands. His future in-law family had been there for him, chairman Cross, a good friend of his parents, also came to help him organize the funeral. He was like a distracted, inexpressive person in those days, everything passed by as a dream, when he could regain his full consciousness, he had been brought back to Hokkaido, and his past, both the tragic and the serenity, had become oblivious.

A leading psychiatrist explained that it was a trauma of the catastrophe, his brain blocked the miserable past away to heal his mental wound.

Chairman Cross, Kaito and Aimi became the closest persons in his life, they told him about his background, his family, what he had been planning, what he had been pursuing, yet none of them could explain the absence of the birth mark on his left arm, even Aimi, as his fiancee, didn't know when and how it had disappeared. For a hunter, the birth mark should only fade away after his wedding night, since he wouldn't get into a casual relationship and lose his first time for an insignificant partner. Nevertheless, that most important person had never showed up, and nobody who knew him was aware that he used to be in a relationship.

He spent five years to restore all knowledge as a hunter and a doctor. Although he tried hard every day, he felt lack of passion, lack of something to warm him up from the innermost, something to encourage him, and in the bottom of his heart, there was an untouchable, unfeeling area which he believed all pains and miseries in his past had been frozen.

Thirty years old, he was an assistant to the HA president, and a qualified cardiologist. Thirty years old, it wasn't too late to start building a good future, however, his highest priority remained the revenge upon Shizuka Hio, for murdering his whole family, and for kidnapping and killing his twin brother many years before.

This day had finally come when the pureblood princess's trace was tracked down, and she was forced to accept his challenge to a duel. Endangering a pureblood was a crime, it was unlikely that this fight could take place legitimately, however, Takuma Ichijou, the head of the Vampire Council, and other influential nobles had supported him by judging Shizuka as an insane and dangerous pureblood who must be eliminated for violating the peace treaty between two sides, unless she won the fight with him.

To those nobles, Zero didn't really understand why they usually helped him whenever he needed it. He wasn't very interested in making friends with vampires, and they didn't care much about building a close relation with him, yet they would kindly offer their assistance in good timing and help him complete his missions.

Snow had fallen again, indifferently brushing his silver hair, impassively piling on his shoulders, placidly burying his unmoved feet.

The forest was so silent that the sound of bats flapping their wings could be heard from a very far distance. It was almost the time when Shizuka arrived his home five years ago, bats gathered on a snow-wrapped branch, forming into a beautiful lady in an elegant, traditional kimono.

"It's a surprise that you are human." She said gently, though her words sounded quite nonsensical.

"I'm Zero Kiryuu. I was born to hunt your race down." He replied firmly and stolidly, pointing Bloody Rose straight at her. An explanation to her ridiculous comment wasn't necessary, all hunters were human, it's natural that he was one.

The first shot echoed in the peaceful night, Shizuka dodged it gracefully, it took her no effort to stay safe with his following attempts.

His shooting skill was excellent, yet her speed was too fast.

The lithe figure on the branch vanished, then suddenly re-appeared behind his back, violently strangled his neck and immobilized his whole body.

Responded to her fierce attack, green vines from Bloody Rose swiftly rolled over both of them, tying them together, using its fullest strength to crush them up.

They were completely trapped to each other, the one who contended longer would win and be free after the other died. An ancient pureblood and the most powerful hunter, the result was absolutely unpredictable, they didn't move too much, their solid legs stood steadily on the ground, supporting their balance, though they were struggling with their full strength.

Shizuka gazed at the hunter symbol on his neck. Other hunters normally didn't tattoo their symbol at that place, her lips curved into a smirk.

All of a sudden, she sank her nails, which were on his neck, into his skin, scratching his symbol.

Blood scent was fresh in the air, weird images appeared in his vision without warning. He saw her killing his relatives, he saw his father falling down as she thrust her arm through his chest, he saw Ichiru licking her blood off the floor, he saw him hysterically panting on top of a female ex-human with pointed fangs, he saw many other ex-humans jumping on them.

His powers were abruptly disappeared, she squeezed him tighter, he managed to fight back, but all his efforts to her became worthless, he fell into a half conscious condition.

Temperature dropped lower, snow fell heavier, another flock of bats unexpectedly arrived, gathering into a man in long, black trench coat. A dark metal half-face mask hid the left side of his face, soft curls of chestnut hair sophisticatedly hung down to shade it. His left hand, which were in leather glove, was holding a hunter sword.

"Kaname Kuran. So you are the reason." Shizuka identified the newcomer by his typical aura and greeted him with odd words, though they didn't seem unintelligible to him "This is a duel between me and Zero Kiryuu. You can't interfere in, I refuse to fight with you." If it was Kaname alone, she wouldn't mind it. However, she had spent a lot of energy with Zero, she needed fresh blood and some rest to recover her strength before engaging in another fight.

"You didn't play fair. He could have won if you hadn't reopened his wounds."

"Hahahahahah..." She burst into laughing "How could it be unfair? I didn't ask for any assistance. I just reminded him of who I am." Both of her hands were fixed with rose vines, even though they were not as tight as before, it wasn't easy to break free immediately. "Now I've understood why the Council decided I had to accept this duel or my vengeance on the Kiryuus would be brought to court for trial. I wondered which pureblood I had offended."

Purebloods were the highest rank, however, the Vampire Council governed their society and held the right to make the final decisions. On the other aspect, each councilor pledged their loyalty to a certain pureblood, and most of their votes or decisions were influenced by their pureblood master. Purebloods were fully protected and retained many privileges over the others, unless they were considered dangerous to the society's safety and reputation.

"You required Takuma Ichijou to declare I'm insane while I have done nothing wrong. This boy's father ordered to kill my lover, although he hadn't yet lost his lucidity. My lover sacrificed his hunter status and asked me to bite him, he had my blood everyday, there was no way he would become insane. We were supposed to be together forever, but Nori Kiryuu ruined my happiness. Do you know... I've lived for thousands of years, and it was the first and only time I fell in love..."

Tears fell down her withered smile. Since that night, she had forgotten what type of person she had used to be, she forgot how many hearts she had broken, or how many victims had died in her hands. Upon suffering the death of her beloved, she understood the value of life, but everything was too late, she could never taste that wonderful joy ever again.

The sword was aimed straightly at her, Kaname said calmly "You have taken your vengeance, Hio! You murdered his whole family, including the people who hadn't offended you, and you ruined my happiness, you took away from me the only person who loved me. **_This_ **is his vengeance, and my vengeance." He didn't show sympathy to her, but couldn't deny that he understood how scary loneliness was, and how painful when losing the most and only important thing in one's life. Shizuka had put him on the same path as hers, he lost Zero right after the hunter admitted his love for him. "All hunters want to go to the Hades with their wife, so they can plead to meet again in their next life. Your lover are waiting for you."

Shizuka didn't defend herself from his attack, tears had wetted her ashen cheeks, and she seemed to see her lover when the tip of his sword pieced through her forehead.

A contented smile bloomed on her face as she collapsed.

Green vines spread over the ground, in an unphysical form, she felt her lover's hand holding hers. But before she returned his, someone else grabbed her other hand. This person was one of her countless victims, whose appearance was similar with the half conscious hunter's who was lying in Kaname's arms. She smiled with both of them. They didn't belong to this world anymore, with all debts, hatred, anger and love, it's time to leave together and settle them in another realm.

Ichiru looked back at his brother. He couldn't say good bye. Their last meeting had been ages before, but he stuck to him and silently witnessed him falling in love. On that fateful New Year's Eve, before the catastrophe occurred to their family, Zero had chosen his life partner. And in the last five years, Ichiru had been waiting to meet Kaname Kuran again, but the pureblood hadn't re-appeared in front of his brother since that night. Their promise through death and life had been shattered, their love had been broken, Zero had forgotten Kaname. Ichiru didn't know if they could have another chance, but at least he had a reason to hope now, when the pureblood finally showed up. However, he couldn't shelter in his brother's body forever. It was time to part ways. Another look back couldn't cease their inevitable separation.

He closed his eyes, and stepped forward.

Snow kept falling, Zero gazed at his savior, though nothing could really register in his hazy mind. He had never met a person with a venetian mask covering half of his face, he hadn't follow the conversation between him and Shizuka Hio, but what was frightening him at most in this moment was the suffocation as though he was drowning in deep water, the scratches on his neck were weirdly aching...

Shizuka had scratched him, however, the pureblood venom from their fangs was what converted human into vampires. A scratch from them should only be as disturbing as one caused by another human, but what Zero was feeling was like there were other wounds under those scratches, his hand unconsciously raised to rub the prickly skin.

Kaname gently removed his fingers "Don't worry, Zero! You will feel better soon."

He bit his right wrist and let blood drip down the hunter's scratches.

"I call for the strongest power of this blood

To restore your original nature

May your destruction become mine

and my strength yours."

Blood flowed down Zero's throat after the spell finished, he managed to hold his gaze at the savior. Things seemed confusing, but he somehow believed this strange pureblood wouldn't hurt him.

The scratches on his neck magically vanished, and a corporal desire started escalating to sink him in insanity.

ZxK

When Zero was fully sober, he got stunned finding himself lying on another person. Instantly getting up, he was more panicked to realize both of their lower bodies were naked, his private part was coated in his own sticky fluid and the other's dried blood, there was a lot more which had soaked the bedsheet in between the pureblood's spreading legs. He must have brutally ravished him and come several times to create such a mess.

This place looked like a luxurious chamber, Zero was now standing on a thick, red carpet, while his savior was lying on a king-sized bed, where they had just had crazy sex together. Both of their shirts were still on, even the black leather glove was still on the pureblood's left hand, and the mask was still covering half of his face, though it was a bit askew. His other half face which wasn't hidden was beautiful.

Zero wouldn't be surprised, since all vampires, especially purebloods, were good looking, and the Kuran family were famous for their gorgeousness. He could be sure this man was Kaname Kuran, though they had never met in person. As a hunter, he had to learn carefully about history and how to identify influential vampires through their appearance, their personality, habits, and powers.

It was the first time he met a Kuran. Rido didn't have a stable location, he moved around the world with his different lovers, and Kaname resided right in Hokkaido, where Zero had lived for the last five years, if not counting the ten-year training period he had forgotten. This pureblood didn't attend any events organized by the HA or the Vampire Council, he didn't attend any medical events either. Zero knew he owned Kuran General Hospital, but hadn't had a reason to pay him a visit. Their lives weren't meant to cross each other, he didn't know if Kaname used a mask in his daily basis, but it was obviously not for hiding his identity, because people could easily recognize his other half face, and right now he could remove this mask if he wished so.

The pureblood was totally being defenseless. Zero found it strange that he could sleep soundly with a hunter's presence. In fact, there were many inexplicable things around them. He couldn't understand why his powers disappeared after Shizuka scratched him, and why Kaname showed up in time, then why he fed him with his blood which resulted in their sex. Drinking pure blood would lead to an arousal which could only be released by the pure blood giver. However, Kaname, with all his sobriety and control, was the one being taken. And right now, when Zero had completely recovered, he was lying motionless on the bed, letting the hunter decide how to settle what had happened between them.

Zero could walk away as nothing here was involved in him, he didn't know the pureblood, he had been brought to this unfamiliar mansion against his will, he should bear no responsibility for what had taken place, or he could take advantage of the pureblood's careless moment to kill him.

Nobody was happy to find out he had been trapped to have sex with someone of the same gender, twenty year older, and on top of that, having an unpleasant mystery around his lifestyle. Kaname Kuran was no longer a renowned, prestigious cardiac surgeon, or a kind, gorgeous man as in people's memories. He secluded himself from society, refused most of meeting requests. Although he still met a few of his subservient nobles in scarce occasions, he denied the love which he was willing to trade his life for, avoided the man who owned his whole heart, who finally on that momentous night had given him his recognition.

If having a little strength right now, Kaname would want to clean Zero up, dress him back properly, and replace the stained sheet, or at least remove himself to lessen his lover's uneasiness when he woke up. Yet his waning health didn't allow him to do so, he was unable to lay Zero down to let both of them rest comfortably, and had to bear his lover's weight on his chest while the hunter was unconscious after orgasm. Even so, anticipated possible reactions, Kaname had put the Bloody Rose next to Zero on the bed before they started, so that his lover wouldn't feel unguarded once regaining his senses, and if it eased his irritation, he could choose to shoot him immediately.

At last, the hunter retrieved his intact, ready Bloody Rose, new bullets had been loaded to replace the ones he had used in the fight. Kaname stayed quiet, in spite of the curt, dry sounds of his checking his weapon. Purebloods had a very sharp hearing, if he didn't wake up, then Zero was sure he was actually not sleeping, but having purposely placed Bloody Rose within his reach, and let him decide. To show his appreciation, the hunter put his gun down. "I know you're awake. Thank you for saving me!"

Their situation was awkward for any conversation, the pureblood's single eye was finally opened, fascinating burgundy flashed a glint of anxiety, which soon warmly turned into contentment as reflecting his lover's healthy image.

"Don't mention it."

His voice sounded like a melody, and his humbleness made Zero feel a little easy in their embarrassing scene. For the first time, he figured the plain metal mask didn't have a hole for the pureblood's left eye, though in the part of his face which could be seen, Kaname was breathtakingly attractive. His skin looked so smooth and paler than other vampires Zero had ever met. His body was slender, his long legs made him taller than the hunter an inch or two. To imagine those enthralling legs being pulled up and spread apart in the classic, missionary position, Zero suddenly felt awkward, yet he couldn't not look at the bloody spots outstanding on the ivory cotton sheet. It's scary to find out the pureblood's hole was still bleeding, in addition, teeth marks were deep on his right wrist, and blood was oozing out from those wounds.

As a hunter, Zero knew pure blood caused arousal, but as a hunter, he hadn't experienced it to know exactly how aroused one could be after drinking that blood. Shizuka had showed him the image of his twin brother and the ex-human group indulging in frantic sex, he didn't dare to think how he might have treated Kaname and it frustrated him that he couldn't remember a single detail. Nevertheless, purebloods had a strong healing power, serious injuries would be recovered after a few days, and minor ones should disappear within minutes, but...

"You're not healing." Zero murmured.

Both of their minds suddenly thought about the same disease. AIDS. It was a fatal disease to humans, though it was originally unharmed to vampires who carried that virus. Vampires never worried about any human diseases, since their systems were immune to all of them. That's why they were careless in choosing their sex mates, one often had countless partners before they got into a serious relationship. Until one day their health was endangered since the HIV got in Hanadagi's system, instead of existing innocuously in his blood, it somehow managed to absorb the power of his pure blood and became invincible to any immune system. He and the others who got infected from him were now suffering the disease. Condoms weirdly became popular among vampires.

"You should take a shower. I'll have brand-new clothes ready for you." Kaname offered.

They couldn't talk in such a situation, he couldn't stand his lover's discomfort as looking at his disorder. What he truly was to him had been forgotten, from rumors, from the information Zero could gather, he was a fifty year old pureblood, who was into men but didn't have a steady partner after separating from Takuma Ichijou. In common senses, nobody would be surprised if hearing he had slept with Hanadagi, and was also infected. How could it not bother Zero since he was having all symptoms and they had just engaged in an unprotected sex?

The hunter nodded, then turned around to walk into a detached bathroom. Within a night, so many events had taken place that he wasn't sure where to start thinking about. If succeeded and survived, he would get married to Aimi, they had been engaged for so long, it should be time to progress their relationship to the higher level. That's what he had planned before leaving for the duel with Shizuka, then he met the enemy who had murdered his family, he was almost killed, he was drugged by pure blood and ended up sleeping with a peculiar man. Things completely changed. He had wanted to search for his past, search for his passion, to continue his family's reputation, or at least live a life which didn't taint his family name. It was a lie if saying he wasn't worried now. Not only from being infected by a debatable and discreditable disease, but also how his future would turn out from it.

The shirt was taken off before Zero stepped in the glass shower booth, and it astounded him to see blood stains on its back. Those must be from Kaname's wounded wrist, as an evidence that the pureblood had held him when they were having sex. Did it mean he had enjoyed it? Zero didn't know how to think, they had never met, his excitement was unnatural, yet Kaname was ardent to have him, and not at all minding how he was being treated or how it hurt his body.

Warm water couldn't relax the hunter's tenseness. Pouring a lot of shower gel and rubbing his palms together, Zero scrubbed all over his body, unusually starting from his manhood. He wanted to cleanse himself of the sex which had just happened not by choice. Sex could only be pleasurable and meaningful when it took place in consent of both the mind and the heart. It could only be enjoyable when love was involved. If only Kaname let him hold a great regard for his kind deed, then he wouldn't give heed to their different origins, sexual preferences or personal issues to show his gratitude by frequenting this mansion to take care of him. However, they had had sex, and despite of the reason, Zero didn't know how to face him, or how they could go from this point.

As returning to the chamber, Kaname had left, bed had been made, and Zero found a set of brand new outfit in their original boxes and bags. Their physiques were pretty similar, the pureblood's clothes would suit him just well, and to prevent him from any slightest idea of wearing his used clothes, all brand labels remained attached to those shirt and trousers.

It didn't take much time to put them on. When Zero was finished, a knock echoed from the outside caught his attention, before he heard a familiar voice "Are you ready, Zero-san?"

"Yes." He answered, knowing it was Seiren, but failing to explain how he could be sure it's her. They hadn't met before, though somehow he had a feeling that they used to have this kind of conversation.

The silver haired lady appeared in an instant, with an inexpressive voice, telling him "Kaname-sama is waiting for you in the conservatory."

Ironically, she remembered him, though it wasn't her position to say anything. He had spent several nights in this mansion, and she had arranged the tea and meals for him and her master. Tonight was the first time he came to the pureblood's chamber, unfortunately, he had forgotten their past. She knew Kaname loved him, much longer before he brought him home. In his thirty years with Ichijou, he had never had a happy day. Their relationship was finally broken, though 'sad' was an understatement to talk about their ending. She was glad when Zero first appeared, however, her master was usually on tiptoe around him. The hunter was too conservative, and they never became a real couple. It had been five years since their separation, five years Kaname silently followed his development as how it had been before they started. She didn't expect to see Zero again, yet she couldn't interfere in the way her master wanted to live his life. No matter what would happen from now onwards, her only duty was to guide this hunter to him.

ZxK

Zero entered the conservatory which was built in a traditional Victorian style with five angled bays, having glass roof and walls, surrounding by the lush and freshness of a beautiful garden. It was kind of strange for a vampire home to have a room with full of sun in daylight, however, he neglected that thought as soon as seeing Kaname at a small round table, with a delicate porcelain vintage tea set in front of him. From this angle, his mask was perfectly hidden under those lightly wavy hair locks, his parting lips seemed to glint a gentle smile as his burgundy eye shyly looked down to avoid the hunter's gaze. He was effeminately beautiful in a white pleated dress shirt, in his elegant sitting way, and in those long, taping fingers.

Zero startled to find himself being enchanted by another man, yet he knew this captivation was only a delusion, he chose the opposite seat to look straight at the pureblood and detect the dark metal mask which insistently covered half of his face. Truth was usually nasty, yet he didn't like being deceived by unreal things.

Kaname pushed a small porcelain cup, which was placed on a matched saucer, in front of his lover, and filled it up with hot tea. A fresh, tangy blend of orange, lemon and lime zest subtly spread out from thin smokes. It had been the hunter's favorite flavors, which he usually prepared for him each time they had tea together.

"Thank you." Zero said, glancing at the red roses blooming in a tall slim crystal vase. He heard the Kuran mansion had a beautiful orchid garden, as they used orchids as their representative flower. However, this room seemed to have a different taste.

The pureblood was still wearing his leather glove, though he openly laid his hidden hand on the table. It made sense when he was wielding a hunter sword, but what was his reason to wear it now?

"I apologize for what have happened between us. You got allergic to Hio's scratches, and I didn't know how to defuse it." Kaname calmly talked about their incident "I realized what I did wasn't a smart way."

Being allergic to injuries caused by a pureblood was recorded in the hunter history. Although many generations hadn't experienced it, they still carefully kept the method to resolve it. This allergy wouldn't cause a serious damage, and Kaname should have taken him to the HA. However, he wasn't supposed to know it, and had tried his best to help him.

Zero sighed, he wouldn't be willing to help a stranger if it meant to sleep with him. On the contrary, Kaname had willingly done it, and enjoyed being used until his rapist satisfactorily passed out. Amethyst eyes were unintentionally attached to the gorgeous half face while such repulsive assumption rushed over his mind. This heavenly beauty wasn't virtuous, the physical damage which the pureblood was suffering now might be a result of his debauched past. Not saying those criticisms out loud, Zero awkwardly found himself keeping bad thoughts about his savior. Maybe none of them was wrong, they just shouldn't have got involved in each other. He could choose to talk to nice people, to make friends with compatible persons, but it was out of his control that Kaname was the one who had come to help him.

"I'm in debt to you," He said seriously "though I wish we wouldn't have had sex. My tradition only allows me to have sexual intercourse with my spouse. I did it with my lover. I can't remember her now, but we must be madly in love and wanted to be together forever. She has disappeared since my family were murdered and I lost all memories of my past. You are the second one I've slept with, but I don't love you. It's unfair to both of us."

His voice sounded gentle, yet his disappointment to the first lover was too obvious. It wasn't presumptuous to think he had only been in love once and wanted to share his life with that person. Their traditions forbade them to go with their momentary feelings, all hunters must preserve the first time for their official wife, so that their family crest would be reborn on her right arm. The wife would be killed if failed to receive it. That meant Zero and his first lover, whoever that person was, had decided to tie their lives together and believed nothing could change their decision, or they wouldn't have made love before the wedding. Nevertheless, he had never met that person after the catastrophe, when he needed "her" at most, when "she" became his only family. He might not have the right to blame "her" or why "she" left him, but it was something he couldn't pretend as if it had never happened.

_"You are all I have, Kaname! Don't leave me alone!"_

Zero had forgotten that desperate whisper when he was holding his lover, but in the last five years, there was no single day Kaname had a good sleep, no single day those words didn't echo by his ears. On that day, he had decided to abandon the love of his life, leaving him when he was unconscious with blood soaking over his body. He abandoned him after Shizuka had killed all of his loved ones, after receiving his invaluable gift of the Kiryuu crest. He abandoned the promises they had exchanged, the passion they had shared in that hotel room, the plan and sacrifice which Zero was willing to make for him. He returned to Hokkaido alone and pretended that they had never known each other.

Pain suffocated his chest, stung at the contiguity of the extending corrosion and the rest of his body, more than ever he wished to get back to his lover's embrace. Five years before he would have proactively reached out to hold him, tried to rouse his sympathy, clung to him wherever he went to, persistently begged for his love, because he had his beauty, his powers, his experience, he was confident to make Zero happy. But right now, he could only become the hunter's heavy burden if insisting to pull both of them into a relationship.

"I am sorry. Could you please... forget it?"

Zero stared at Kaname in disbelief. Forget they had slept with each other? Was it that simple in the pureblood's thought? If he could view their incident lightly, he wouldn't be sitting here to talk to him, he would have already left and next time when they ever met, acting as though it was their first meeting.

Vampires were probably used to that lifestyle, they lived too long to settle down before a hundred years of age, and wouldn't wish to be responsible to all the people they had bedded. Perhaps what had just happened between them was merely a trifle to this pureblood. Oh how frustrating to think about it, though Zero assumed it wouldn't be better if Kaname suggested dating with him.

Delicate scent of orange and lime seemed to relieve anxiety and relax one's mind, even if in his situation, it was the only good thing which was preventing him from getting crazy. It looked like they were in a tea party with candles in exquisite glass holders, delicious pastries and scones on a three tier server, and a hexagonal bucket of fresh, succulent fruits, yet their ambiance was extremely unlikable.

Of course they couldn't be in the mood, however, Zero didn't really understand why Kaname had the heart to make this wasteful arrangement. He should have just waited for him in the chamber, instead of inviting him to have tea together. He had come in time to save him from Shizuka, aroused his desire to sleep with him, then prepared a tea table to tell him to forget it.

Maybe Zero should quickly agree and leave, but his legs seemed rather stiff, he hadn't sat comfortably from the beginning. Kaname was also very still, his back straightened, his face lowered, his left arm shook lightly, and when Zero took a better look, he realized the long sleeve was too flat, whatever was under the silk fabric didn't have the shape of a normal arm with flesh and blood, it seemed thin as a rail. A prosthetic limb? Zero would be certain if the person sitting in front of him wasn't a pureblood. However, Kaname was, and his mind involuntarily wandered back to his earlier supposition.

Silence suggested the pureblood to look up, and follow his lover's eyes to get what was disturbing him. Those dark silver brows knitted together as gazing at his bony arm. Kaname was well aware that his appearance usually drew unnecessary attention. Though he had never explained his situation to anyone, and never bothered what the others might guess, his heart ached to see uneasiness in his lover's expression. The hand in leather glove stirred, and rose up to touch his mask "Sorry for these weird looks. My face and my body have been deformed."

Now he admitted it, Zero was dazed. In his weirdest imagination, he still couldn't expect something like this to happen after the fight with Shizuka. Both sides were aware of his challenge and agreed to make no interference, however, Kaname had breached their agreement and become his savior. They had never met before, who could be sure he didn't have any hidden purpose when joining hands with him. The most dangerous thing was Zero was growing an attachment to this pureblood, despite of his deformation. That feeling pinned him down, on one hand he felt being tricked, on the other hand, he was reluctant to break free. "Are you infected?" He asked in perplex.

"Yes." Kaname conceded quietly, bracing himself up to receive his lover's aversion, and to be devastated by his spiteful response. He had always prepared himself thoroughly to look beautiful in the hunter's eyes, even before their first conversation, he wanted to create a good impression, wanted Zero to admire him, desire for him, touch him with needs. But he was now blackening himself, tarnishing his own repute, because it was the only explanation he could give, consequently worked as an indirect hint that he had slept with Hanadagi or the infected vampires or all of them. There should be no other reason. "You may guess how I got infected."

The chair was hastily pulled back, Zero stood up, in an impulsive instant, running out of the room.

It's a big fury, unbearable and incomprehensible. It would make more sense if what he felt was simply contempt. From his point of view, from what he had been taught, from the values of life which he respected, he could despise the pureblood's lifestyle and hold him in contempt, yet fury was a different emotion. He didn't know him personally, Kaname Kuran wasn't the first name he thought of when pureblood was mentioned, he had no involvements, no expectations, but his sense of responsibility was binding them to each other, he couldn't view him as a stranger after their bodies had connected. However, the pureblood's attitude disheartened him from seeking for a way to settle their issue in a responsible way.

It was so sudden. The hunter's image soon disappeared in darkness, all turned quiet, candle light flickered desolately in crystal glasses. Kaname remained still with his lonely shadow.

"That's right, Zero! Stay away from me!"

**-to be continued-**

_Posted: __17 __March__ 2013_

_Please let me know what you think about this chapter._


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N**__: __This chapter took more time than expected. It turned out so hard to describe their feelings. I kept deleting and re-writing the paragraphs. At last, I ended up writing over 11,000 words! Hix, please don't give up reading in the middle! _

**CHAPTER ****2****  
**

Zero didn't celebrate the New Year's occasion, though Aimi usually came to tidy and decorate his apartment before going back to Okinawa.

Since that fateful night, she often came to his place to help him with the houseworks, and considerately paid attention to take care of his daily needs, though she had never required him to spend time with her, or take care of her, never knitted her brows for his ignorance, never made a complaint. Their engagement started since she was born, but he had a feeling that his past self hadn't accepted such arrangement and had fallen for another person, who he slept with, possibly as an attempt to convince his family to acknowledge them. Unexpectedly, a tragedy fell onto them, his lover disappeared, and it was Aimi, his rejected fiancée, who stayed by his side.

Aimi used to say she wanted an equal partner, who loved her, respected her, worried for her as much as she did to him. She objected the hunter traditions which endowed many privileges to the men while belittling the role of the women. Kaito supported her by persuading their parents to let her live with his family. In fact, he also thought having Zero as his brother-in-law would be a big pride. So he took advantage of the younger hunter's memory loss to create another opportunity for him and his sister to develop their relationship.

Interestingly, Zero had always been an old-fashioned, conservative man, yet Aimi still chose him. Perhaps she admired his strong will to survive and grow up in difficulties, admired his endless efforts to catch up with, then overpass the other people of his same age, she liked his calmness and gentle behaviors, she felt appreciated in the way he treated her, though he had never shown her his love interest.

Because of his conservativeness, he felt obligated to maintain their relationship, and for all she had done, he couldn't find a reason to reject her, so she tried to do more, to make him feel in deeper debt. In their society, a man who had lost his birth mark wouldn't have a chance to marry a daughter of a famous hunter family, because he couldn't create the sacred bond with his wife to tie their lives and deaths together. Contrary to their opinion, that weak point made Zero her ideal match, and with her brother's encouragement, she was more convinced it was a right thing to pursue him.

When Zero returned with blank, exhausted eyes, Aimi grabbed her arms around him tightly. Tears uncontrollably fell down, though it's hard to say if the feeling was happiness or relief. She thought she would pass out after a whole night of waiting, sleeplessness, worries and fear. She had seen him off, it was the worst moment she had ever experienced in her life. They had said goodbye to each other, when the sole wish in her mind was they would be able to say goodbye for many more times. Thanks to the grace of God, she finally, fortunately had the chance to welcome him back.

As her arms wrapping around him, Zero realised he had returned to his own life, returned to the debate between his mind and his heart in responding to her feeling. Embracing her, he unintentionally felt a deep awareness that his arms were following a rational instruction from his mind, as it was a right thing, which at least he could do to soothe her emotion. Aimi was the only woman in his mind since he lost his family, and he had accepted her as a part of his life, however, the frozen area in his heart prevented him from falling for her. He saw her continuous efforts, but love wasn't a conquer, he wasn't in the right mood to give it a serious thought in this moment. He wasn't relieved. For years he had wondered how it would feel like after the fight, and now, all he was feeling was a definite emptiness.

Aimi went to bed right away, and slept very soundly. Zero didn't wake her up when leaving for the HA headquarters early in the morning. As looking at his familiar furniture, his accustomed toiletries, all clothes in the old wardrobe, the same view outside the windows, he took in a better comprehension that he had finally returned. There was no Kaname Kuran in his life.

_"Could you please forget it?"_

_He won't appear at my door. _Zero didn't know why he had such an odd idea when walking out, and an empty space of serenity greeted him.

Today marked a new period of his life, he should probably stay with Aimi, and started thinking about their future, especially when she had skipped her trip back to Okinawa this year for his fight. Yet a part of him, which wasn't controlled by his mind, still wasn't ready. Elation soaking in the air couldn't shade the hard time he had been through five years before, when he was suffering a high fever, with injuries all over his body, having no clue of what had just happened, and failing to remember any detail of the things which everybody else would treasure deeply in their heart. In a day which was supposed to be feastful and enjoyable, he lost his family, lost his love, lost his dreams, lost himself to an ancient pureblood's vengeance.

There was a truth that Zero hadn't told anyone, he knew his lover had followed him to his home town at that time. Three days after the funeral, he found a hotel keycard in his trousers' pocket, and went there to figure out why it had been in his possession.

A hotel receptionist let him know he had come alone to rent a room for two in the previous week. The room was later checked out and paid in cash by a young, short, silver haired lady, right on the first New Year's day, ten day earlier than its due date.

Five years had passed since, Zero still couldn't forget the fact that his lover had left him when he was in calamity. He used to think she was scared of Shizuka Hio, and wanted to cut off all connections with her enemy, he used to think she didn't want to support him in misfortune, he used to think their love wasn't strong enough, but a part of him couldn't move on from that oblivious past. He wanted to meet her once, to hear her reason, to seek a closure for his unsettled feelings.

Winter in Hokkaido was freezing, yet it was extremely stuffy in the HA library, not because of the temperature, but the unresolvable knots inside him. Last night he confronted one of the most important persons of his forgotten memories, Shizuka Hio, his sworn enemy. She was the reason of his miserable life, however, it was so unfeeling after her death. He had hoped for peace, or at least a bit of relief, he hoped the ice in his heart would melt, and maybe he could gather enough encouragement to move on.

The truth was last night opened up a new disturbance. Before he was totally ready for a marriage which everybody was waiting to bless with their best wishes, things went beyond control and he found himself sleeping with a male pureblood. He wasn't held responsible, he was even suggested forgetting it, but that suggestion only made him uneasier.

For a full day he stayed in the HA library searching for information of Kaname Kuran. In this "Pureblood" room, there were hundreds of books writing about the highest rank of vampire kind, however, he didn't find any other details of this particular pureblood, beside the general ones which he had already learned out. Looks couldn't say it, but Kaname was in the same age with his father.

Humans and vampires grew up similarly in their first twenty years, then a vampire's aging decelerated, which made his youth last much longer, and for a pureblood, it was forever, though his mind continued maturing with time. Most of vampires didn't settle down before they were a hundred years old. With lots of time in hand and lots of money their families had accumulated in their long lives, they became dissolute. It was one of the reasons hunters considered them a lower race, though their appearance was similar to human and in fact, more attractive.

Kaname Kuran was among the minority of vampires who had taken his study seriously, built his successful career and become financially independent in his young age. He hadn't gotten any stains in personal life, except a rumor that his uncle had dishonored him since he was twelve, before trusting him to Asato Ichijou, the head of Vampire Council at that time. From then on, he became the lover of this noble's grandson. Their relationship was published and the Ichijous gained a lot of benefits in their society and business for becoming his second family. However, there was no record of his relation with Hanadagi, the infected pureblood, which Zero purposely searched for, nor any details of his current situation.

Finally the hunter started checking the virtual gallery in their database. No new photo of Kaname in the last five years. Most of them were in his time with Takuma Ichijou, since he was a young boy, until forty three. The pureblood had already been an alluring gentleman when Zero hadn't been born. Each of his features was perfectly captivating, each of his gestures was delicately charming, but he never had a smile. In countless photos Zero had skimmed through, none of them caught a happy moment of his. Being in a steady relationship with Takuma for thirty years, and having his company in all events, there was still something lacking, Kaname looked lonely even when surrounded by many people and with his boyfriend's hand holding his. They had been a respectful couple. However, thirty years still didn't mean forever, they separated at the end, never disclosed who was at fault, Takuma was now living happily with his new lover, while Kaname isolated himself, and from Zero's personal knowledge, suffering a discreditable disease.

His mouse dragged to the last folder, which consisted of one photo only, the most recent one, after the break-up. It was a Christmas party at Cross's residence six years ago, and surprisingly, Zero found himself in there, together with Kaname and Cross. The pureblood's appearance didn't reflect a slightest hint of his real age, though different than other photos, his beautiful lips were flashing an elegant smile, his head inclined a little toward Zero, and somehow his expression emanated a feeling that he wanted to record this moment. As for the hunter, he wasn't smiling, but to his own amazement, he was also leaning on the pureblood's side, so naturally that he wasn't really conscious of. Those features embellished an exceptional element to this specific photo. Kaname hadn't had this radiant look with his boyfriend, had never smiled as though his introversion wouldn't let him openly express his feelings, but that moment seemed to encompass a special meaning which he had been wishing for, and he failed to repress such overpowering sentiment from glowing on his face.

The photo was zoomed in until there were only two of them on full screen, Zero suddenly got a very weird thought. No ones ever told him they had met before, was it because they were merely casual acquaintances or everyone was hiding something between them? He scrolled the wheel on his mouse down to reduce the photo's size, to remind himself that they hadn't taken that photo as a couple, chairman Cross was right beside them, and he had better brush such weird idea away.

However, it was the only reason Zero could think of to explain this whole confusion. Last night Kaname caught him when he was collapsing, held him protectively in his embrace and assured him with gentle words. Those scratches shaded his mind, he couldn't realize exactly what's going on, but in a situation which was supposed to be puzzled and panicky, he was overwhelmed with a safe feeling. Kaname used his blood to calm him down and heal his allergy, then brought him out of the cold, deserted forest, even allowed him to release his after-effect by violating his own body.

It must have a deeper meaning than a lust for young guys, unless the pureblood was that type of person, and chairman Cross intentionally covered those disreputable activities to keep his profile clean. Now looking at his once-fascinating appearance, Zero couldn't help feeling sorry. Male or female, nobody could easily accept a body deformation, let alone purebloods, who were born with a thought that they were the most beautiful creatures. Kaname had been regarded as inactive in the last five years, and become the least vampire that Zero thought about. Then why did he interfere in his fight with Shizuka? Why did he give him his blood?

Solid footsteps echoed evenly on the outside corridor, the sound got closer and clearer until chairman Cross's voice shattered the serenity of his shelter. "Found you finally. Have you stayed here all the time?" He snorted from the threshold, his glasses laded on his straight nose, displease and relief were mixed on his face.

Zero looked up, not really happy with the interruption, but answered him with composure "I called you right after the fight." Right after he got home to be exact, he called chairman Cross, Yagari-sensei and Kaito to briefly inform of his victory. It had already been an exception that the Vampire Council approved a challenge from a hunter to one of their purebloods, even forced her to agree it. They requested nobody else of either sides to participate in that duel, which the HA found reasonable enough for acceptance. Zero came there alone, but several persons stayed sleepless for him last night.

"I thought you would come to meet me in the morning." Cross was unsatisfied with the young hunter's cold-hearted attitude "You should have paid me a visit on New Year's day, especially when I'm deadly worried for you."

"I've never paid you a New Year's visit." Zero said nonchalantly "The ambiance doesn't suit me, and your place is crowded and noisy during these days."

"That's how people spend their holidays. You must learn to mix with them for your own sake. It's time to break the seclusion you have created all these years." Cross was unmarried, but he had never been lonely. His outgoing, open-minded character let him easily get close to many people and have a lot of friends. He owned an academy, an orphanage, and at the same time he was the HA president, so many people whom he had helped came to visit him during New Year's holidays. Cross counted his charities as his successes, one day he would like to give his position to someone who was also charitable, sympathetic and understanding. Zero used to be the person he aimed at, for his extraordinary strength, his tolerance, his senses of discipline and responsibility. However, the young hunter's personality remarkably changed after the unfortunate upheaval which he had been through. He forgot his past, he deviated from the path he had drawn out for himself, he struggled to find his lost ego, nobody could really help him to figure out who he used to be, because they either didn't know it, or in his case, couldn't tell him. Nonetheless, from some trivial deeds, Cross knew the young hunter was still very kind and caring from the bottom of his heart, but it seemed to protect himself from mistakes and hurt, he was mistrustful and hardly put his guard down to show anyone his sympathy.

"What are you doing here?" Cross looked around the untidy room with disorderly piles of books all over the sofa, the chairs, and lots of opening books covering the desk where Zero was sitting.

"I'm searching for some information." The young hunter replied "You've created a list of HIV positive vampires, but you missed out one important person. Kaname Kuran is also infected."

Cross knitted his brows for a second, wondering why Zero had to spend his New Year's day for such issue, but immediately retorted when his sentence was finished "Who told you that nonsense? He isn't."

Zero carefully observed the chairman's reaction. Of course he would like to hear Kaname was clean. He hated to think about the pureblood as a callous, lustful person, he didn't want him to get involved in those infected ones, either sleeping with them or drinking their blood. Nowadays, all of vampires were on artificial blood tablets, however, blood donation was still an honor and obligation which lower vampires sometimes did to their superiors, and that activity often followed by sex. Since they did it in private and it didn't affect the human world, the HA couldn't control it. For thirty years, Zero assumed Kaname had had Takuma for those needs, but in the last seven years, he didn't have a partner. Yet the chairman's denial sounded too defensive, as if he knew the truth behind it or absolutely believed in the pureblood's dignity.

"How to explain his deformation?"

"How did you know it?" Cross was amazed, in a sudden instant, his words accidentally admitted that he did know it, his facial expression became tense, and even though that question was very simple, he raised it with cautions.

"He came to my rescue last night."

The chairman was bewildered. On one hand, it shouldn't be a surprise that Kaname wanted to be there with his lover. Last night Cross and Toga let Zero go alone, because they had agreed on that condition with the Vampire Council, and he had confidence in the young hunter's ability, which kept improving with time, even without his memories. He and Kaname had had a long conversation on the phone before the pureblood was convinced to request Takuma to approve his lover's challenge. On the other hand, Cross didn't expect to hear Kaname make a presence, especially where Zero was. He had been isolating himself because he didn't want to attract the young hunter's attention, though it's unlikely that his lover would have a slightest clue of what they had been to each other.

"Did he get injured?"

Zero kept silent, calmly looking at him with unruffled eyes. He actually wanted to hold the chairman down for his slip of tongue and get all the answers he had been wondering at, but Cross wasn't someone he could be insolent to. Since the first moment he walked in his room five years before, Zero believed he knew more than what he had shared with him. While Yagari-sensei tried to re-transfer the knowledge of a hunter and helped him to practise his skills, Cross spent a lot of time to tell him about their culture, their customs, what people expected from them, and what his personal view of life was. He seemed very thoughtful and contemplative on what issues he wanted him to think about. He encouraged him to nurture his own opinions, and sometimes Zero felt that he was trying to imply something, though it had never been clear what he wanted to say.

_Kuran didn't get injured from the fight. _The young hunter thought silently, but wasn't willing to share what had happened between them after that. "He wore a mask." His hand rose up to cover half of his face, imitating how the pureblood's mask looked like "He told me he was infected. His face and his body have been deformed. I've checked everything we have here, there is no record of his participation in any fights or getting any injuries. His profile doesn't say a word of his real condition. I'm surprised that our information is so outdated. But what I can't imagine is you did know about it, but deliberately ignored those important details."

It was a serious neglect of responsibilities which the chairman understood better than anybody else what consequences it could be. They had built up this "Pureblood" room and wrote a detailed profile for each of them for a reason. Those creatures were considered mysterious and dangerous as soon as human race figured out their existence. They carried the best attraction to seduce anybody they liked, they possessed unlimited powers to execute whatever they wanted. Although they were supposed to live forever, there was only a few of them who were still alive nowadays. Being ranked higher than the others, treated differently, and respected greatly since they were born, loneliness and unbalance became their grave and chronic problems, many ended up having thought deviations and destroying other people together with themselves. Hanadagi had been closely watched to make sure he wasn't planning any harmful thing to the societies, out of frustration and despair from his disease. If Kaname had the same problem...

Cross stared at Zero. He wasn't upset for the young hunter's accusation to himself, but his heart arose a very ironical feeling. If Kaname had to fall into disrepute, he just hoped it wouldn't be Zero who brought him in. For years he had played their match-maker, though his first intention wasn't to hook them up. By sending many photos of the boy and updating how he was doing at school and in training, Cross only wanted to cheer the pureblood up as Kaname seemed very delighted with the lovely baby who got overexcited each time seeing him. Almost forty years ago, Ichiou took Kaname and his grandson, Takuma, to the school, the pureblood was just a little boy at that time, paying no attention to the surroundings, there was only Takuma in his eyes, full of trust and dependence. That look disappeared after a couple of years, he became more quiet and lonelier. Takuma was keen on expanding his social relations to support his future position, he often brought Kaname along to impress the others, and the pureblood never opposed his lover's wishes.

It was too obvious that he was being taken advantage of, but if it wasn't Takuma, who else would make a better match? Who else would love him without thinking about what benefits he could bring to them? Cross felt deeply sorry for him when happened to see the young noble having an affair with a human behind his back, but with more observation, he realised Kaname was actually aware of his lover's betrayal. So telling him about little Zero, he wanted to give him something else to think about, to show him another life, to guide his contemplation out of the impasse which he was confining himself in.

And Kaname was really interested in Zero. He listened to any stories related to the boy with amusement, he asked more about the hunter culture and customs, eventually he wanted to meet Aimi, after hearing about their engagement. Cross might have sown a seed of love in his heart and inadvertently watered it with time. When introducing them to each other, he didn't really expect them to start a relationship, their distance was too far, their differences were too large, he didn't question the pureblood's feelings, didn't try to find out how they were going after their first meeting.

Five years ago, he hastily flew to Okinawa together with Seiren on Kaname's plane as soon as receiving a horrifying phone call from him informing of the Kiryuus' incident. He was the first one who arrived, and the one who wiped off all traces of another pureblood, beside Shizuka Hio, at the scene. Kaname gripped his hand tightly, half of his face covered by blood, half of his body unmoved.

_"Please promise me, chairman! Zero doesn't need to know it. This is my own decision."_

Maybe it was a mistake to introduce them together, or maybe fate arranged their meeting just for that night. Cross sadly looked at the young hunter. "You said he saved you last night. Could you repay his favour by overlooking this issue? Don't dig in his past, don't change his profile with your supposition. The last sentence of his page will say 'He was alone after the breakup with Takuma Ichijou, and finally committed suicide.'"

ZxK

Tsubasa clenched his hands involuntarily as sensing the uncomfortable atmosphere around. Takuma considerately held his fist, but it took him quite a while to realise the noble's warmth. He glanced at him, and once again his vision was submerged into the classic elegance of this large living room.

Tsubasa was born in a middle class human family. Though Takuma usually tried to give him the fine things since he was in his cradle, he had only been introduced to the high society in the last seven years. After Asato passed away, Tsubasa moved in with his lover. While the Ichijou's residence and the other places he had visited with Takuma were in a hue of luxury, this room held an aura of glory. It wasn't a new renovation that followed the vintage style, it was a real antique interior which had been furnished hundreds of years ago, with exquisite hanging lamps on the ceiling and a marble fireplace under a large portrait of a gorgeous man. Tsubasa didn't know this pureblood family well enough to recognize who exactly was in that portrait, but those alluring features obviously followed them from generations to generations.

He used to feel terribly jealous of Kaname Kuran. Twenty six years he had had to live in a shadow, and see his lover going out with him, twenty six years being the third person, though deep inside all three of them understood who was really redundant. Many people thought Takuma wasn't in his right mind to choose a human over a pureblood. Indeed, it was the only thing Tsubasa overpassed Kaname, and for it he had received many disdainful looks, even now, seven years after they published their relationship, people still considered him his lover's mistake, and believed Takuma would leave him one day to get back to Kaname, especially when the pureblood wasn't interested in looking for a new lover.

As an insider, Tsubasa knew better and felt extremely unfair that he and his lover had to bear the fierce fire of public opinion, while Kaname had ruined his own relationship by betraying Takuma to sleep with Asato. After their breakup, it wasn't true that he was hoping to reconcile with him, he fell for Zero Kiryuu, and requested the noble to support that hunter several times in the last five years. He even asked him to use his authority to approve the duel which Zero challenged to Shizuka. Takuma had to make a volte-face to the other noble families who were loyal to the Hios, and abandon all advice against such dangerous decision to fulfill it. Had Shizuka won, it would have been the end of the Ichijous.

Tsubasa still remembered they had spent a full night in their bedroom, holding each other tightly while the fight was taking place out there. They laid their own lives in this bet, with a faith that they would forever be together, despite of the consequence, because it was the only opportunity for their future, the only opportunity to tie Kaname into this deal. Fortunately, luck had smiled with them, and that's why they were sitting here, in front of the person who Tsubasa never wished to meet.

The pureblood looked quite listless as if he had been through a great obstacle which had squeezed out all of his energy. His elegant black suit and the dark metal mask were trying to hide his exhaustion, but it was too apparent in his single eye, which didn't seem to reflect anything within his sight. He had spent all day staying in the conservatory, inanely gazing at the empty chair which Zero had sat earlier. His beloved looked a little older than the time they were together, a little thinner, and gaunter, probably worn out by his inner struggles to deal with memory loss, and adapt to the life of a disciplined hunter as everyone expected him to be.

Since their separation, Kaname had been following his lover's recovery, however, they had never met once. Last night he didn't intend to interfere in their fight until Shizuka scratched the hunter's neck to awake a part of his which had been sealed and nullified. It reluctantly created a chance for Kaname to be with Zero, though it also exposed his repulsive situation to him. Oh how much he wished to tell his lover he wasn't infected, because he had always been faithful to him. Since Zero had trusted him enough to give his recognition, and he treasured their love more than anything else in this world, he would never betray him, though it was now only him who still held their passionate memories, only him who was in love. There was no other possible explanation of his deformation that he could tell him, then no matter how painful it was, he had to tarnish himself, and sank into deep remorse when his lover ran out with anger. He might not bother what people judged him, he could tolerate anybody else's disgust, but it must not come from Zero, because only his lover's attitude could hurt him, only his lover's words could reach his heart.

"I didn't plan to delay our deal. I was getting ready to go to your house."

"I didn't mean to rush you, Kaname!" Takuma said, but ceased in the middle of his own sentence when his special way to address the pureblood echoed in his ears. It hadn't changed after years, he was the only person who called him by his first name. In their first meeting almost forty years before, he had greeted Kaname "Kuran-sama" as a regard which his rank must show to their superior. However, as his grandfather's instruction, he managed to get close to the pureblood, and in a not-very-innocent day, he went further than his usual flirtation to sleep with him. _"Call me Kaname!" _The pureblood told him after that day as his word of acceptance. They had grown up together, they had been lovers for thirty years. Ironically, he didn't love him. He knew Kaname would never call him "Takuma" again, but he didn't want to change how to address the pureblood, not because it was like a special privilege, but thirty years, who could easily relinquish a habit of thirty years? "Tsubasa's heart is falling. I'm afraid he can't wait much longer."

People said he was the most stupid vampire for leaving a pureblood to be with a weak human, but he could only be at ease and happy by his little lover's side. Tsubasa gave him a pleasant feeling that he was the leading one in their relationship, which he couldn't have with Kaname, plus, the boy put his mind at peace since he was his first and only. Tsubasa had never known any other men beside him, totally depended on him, totally submitted to him.

"He isn't ready." Kaname said after observing the human. Five years ago, they made a deal. When Zero found Shizuka and wanted to kill her in a duel, Takuma would convince the Council to approve his challenge, and expose the pureblood princess's crime to oblige her to accept it, Zero would take no accusation if she died in his hands. In return, Kaname would convert Tsubasa to a steady level D. This conversion consisted of two steps, biting him and giving him his blood. However, blood of a pureblood would arouse the receiver, and nothing but sleeping with him could release it, unless that pureblood was dead.

Takuma embraced his little lover "Didn't we talk through it already? It's our only choice to lengthen your life. It won't hurt. It'll be like how I bite you."

Although Tsubasa was human, Takuma was a vampire, who instinctively had a strong desire of tasting the blood of the person he loved. Now and then he would take a small sip from him when they were making love, and Tsubasa never refused him, knowing how meaningful a bite meant to vampires.

"It's different." The human clutched firmly at his lover's shirt.

"No. It won't hurt." Takuma murmured, laying a gentle kiss on his hair.

"It's different." Kaname suddenly repeated Tsubasa's words "Because it isn't his lover who is biting him."

Takuma looked up, astonishment quickly filled in his expression. Why hadn't he ever thought about it before? Of course he understood it wouldn't be a love bite, he understood it wouldn't give pleasure to any of them, but it must happen for another purpose. No matter how to look at it, he was forcing his lover to receive a bite from another person. And why did it sound familiar?

The noble embarrassingly remembered he had forced Kaname to let his grandfather bite him again and again, threatening to break up if the pureblood refused his request. Then each time they were together, he felt so vexing and uncomfortable, his initial feeling faded away, he concluded that Kaname wasn't the right person for him, yet never once he wondered how the pureblood was feeling. _"It isn't his lover who is biting him." _Tsubasa wasn't the only person who thought that way...

"You knew it, but you still betrayed him." The human gazed at his lover's ex "Had you determinedly rejected it, Takuma would have left the family to go with you. I'm sure you have blamed him for leaving you, everyone laughed at him, but it's all not his fault. You didn't realize one thing, Kuran! Your lover is a man. A man has his own pride, he wants to protect his lover, not to be protected. He wants his lover to rely on him, not open his arms for him to rely on. He wants his lover to treasure his own body, not ruin it and force him to be grateful for it."

Everything drowned in a stunning silence. Tsubasa didn't want Takuma to feel more guilty than he had already been. There was a pressure which they had to suffer since publishing their relationship. The more generous Kaname acted, the more derisive people treated them. Tsubasa strongly believed he and Takuma didn't deserve it, their love was sincere, they should be acknowledged and respected. His lover affectionately tightened his arms around him, trying to calm his emotion down.

"You understand Ichijou very well. You're indeed his other half." Kaname said gently, those words were much more effective than the noble's effort as Tsubasa straightened up, looking steadily at his ex rival.

He was taking it as the pureblood's admission of defeat. He was pleased, yet a part of him was still disgruntled "If you really thought so, why didn't you leave him sooner? You made it thirty years, and got me a bad name as a home-wrecker, Takuma became a traitor, while you took all sympathy from everyone. Even now, people don't change their mind on us."

"Tsubasa..." The noble squeezed his hand to stop him. It wasn't a right time to talk about that, all those had become the past, and nobody questioned what a pureblood wanted to do. He knew his little lover had been deep in those thoughts, he himself didn't understand why Kaname had had to take it for thirty years, it wasn't like the pureblood didn't realize there was no love in their relationship.

"I loved him." Kaname whispered "I hoped he would respond to my feeling if I was patient a little longer."

Tsubasa was dumbfounded. It was the least answer he expected to hear, especially now, when all of them were well aware of what reason the pureblood's appearance had been deformed. Zero had never asked Kaname if he used to love Takuma, but the hunter was smart enough to know his answer without making such question. What else could it be that made him accept any requests the noble asked, and persistently waited for him thirty years?

Kaname met Takuma when he was totally lonely and broken. He tied himself to him, and clung to that frail hope. There was time Takuma was his entire world. As a latecomer, and compared to Tsubasa, Zero was a generosity of a man. Kaname wasn't afraid of admitting his old feelings now, because his lover had forgiven his incestuous sin of sleeping with both Asato and Takuma, had accepted his impure body, and accepted that his heart used to filled up with love for another person. Tsubasa could criticize him for overshadowing Takuma's pride of a man, but his reasons only made it clearer that Zero was a better match. The hunter was strong and confident enough to accept who his lover really was. Kaname wasn't a girl either, he was a powerful pureblood. He would as well have a desire to protect his lover, to give him the best things he had. On one hand, he ceded the leading role in their relationship to the hunter. Zero said he would stay unmarried and no children, but would never admit their relationship, which Kaname understandingly agreed. Zero said he would spend the rest of his life with him, but would want to have his natural death as a human one day, which Kaname also resigned to comply with. On the other hand, the hunter didn't feel inferior when his lover offered assistance, didn't mind following Kaname, if it's better for their future. _"You can't relocate to Okinawa, so I will move to Hokkaido to be with you."_ There was nobody else, who could truly fall in love with Kaname despite of his past, and take him as an equal partner as Zero had done. Then no matter how long it lasted, twelve months since his confession, or only a day in that year, it was worth it.

"I should have told you how I felt." Takuma's voice was out of tone. He hadn't believed the pureblood loved him. At first he presumed Kaname was emotionally weak, later he presumed he didn't really care. The Ichijous were the most powerful noble family, Takuma didn't think Kaname could find a better source of support elsewhere. It might be ridiculous, but sometimes one just failed to realize people of other ranks and other races also had a heart, also had their own thoughts and feelings, also yearned for love and happiness. Sometimes one was too absorbed in his own problems and was misled that he was the only person who could get hurt. All those years Takuma remembered he had terribly suffered, had desperately wished the sharing would somehow end, and they could somehow get back to each other, only two of them, as in their first two years "Would you leave everything which were supposed to belong to you for a simple life with me?"

"I would." Not necessary to think, it was what Kaname had many times dreamed for.

The noble almost cried. Too late. Why hadn't he understood his feeling earlier? Something was breaking in his innermost, something he hadn't had enough courage to hold. He had been given a treasure, but his inferiority complex overshadowed his desire to cherish it. An ordinary, simple human as Tsubasa brought him more comfort and solace. He didn't regret for falling in love with him and choosing him over Kaname, but had he known, he would have... or... he would not have...

"I'm sorry... I didn't know you had already found out about our relationship. I was worried you would make difficulties for Tsubasa, I..." _I attempted to kill you. _Takuma couldn't finish it. They hadn't talked it through when decided to break up. The pureblood simply moved out, they stopped making their appearance as a couple. Asato was too shocked of his grandson's careless action and forbid other vampires to ask about their separation. Time passed by, all of them eventually retrieved their composure. Takuma knew Kaname didn't intend to punish him, otherwise, he would have gotten it done on that very day.

"It was you, Tsubasa Aiba! You induced him to kill me." The pureblood uttered, though there was no resentment in his voice "I sensed his reluctance when pushing the athame into me. I wanted to go along with his plan, but then I realized it wasn't what he really wanted, I realized my love for him had wilted, my heart had started yearning for another person. While you were jealous of me, I also suffered from your existence. I wanted to be loved as much as you were. Ichijou chose you over me, but Zero has made all my wishes come true, he has given me so much more than I deserved to have, that I will never be able to betray him. You won't receive my blood directly from biting me, there will be no arousal, I promise. All you have to do is let those old bad feelings go. Are you not ready to live for your love?"

Tsubasa buried his face in the noble's chest, managing to repress his big relief after hearing the pureblood's words. Not wanting to admit it, but it's too obvious that Kaname could see through him. Their positions didn't give them a nice feeling to each other, yet their positions made them understand each other more than everybody else. It wasn't that he wasn't ready to be turned, it was he wasn't ready to sleep with another person. He and Kaname were oppositely different. While the pureblood was willing to do anything for his love, including staining his body and destroying himself, Tsubasa wanted to stay pure for his lover, and protecting their life was solely the noble's responsibility. Takuma was a very possessive type, Tsubasa was afraid of losing his love if getting tainted by another person, no matter what he said. So having those words took away the burden laden in his heart. He disengaged his lover's embrace, resolutely standing up, walking around the coffee table, and sitting down next to Kaname on the long coach. "I'm ready."

Takuma was after him, tenderly held his cold hand, carefully guided his neck to one side, as trying to wipe off the melancholy pestering his mind. He had just said sorry to Kaname for his ruthless attempt to kill him in the past, but now he was pushing him to another dead end. As making this condition with him, he prepared himself to overlook what Tsubasa and Kaname would have to do to complete the process, however, he was so much scared that the pride, the contentment, the happiness which he had found in his current relationship would fade out. So now, while feeling terribly bad for the pureblood, a larger part of him was overwhelmed with joy.

Kaname gazed at the human who was shaking perceptibly before him, yet his mind had been made up. If being turned against his free will, one couldn't complete his conversion to feel at ease with his new condition, so would never be happy, even if he got his master's blood and was free from falling into level E. That's why Kaname allowed Tsubasa to dig in his long gone issues, to talk to him about the man they had shared over twenty years.

Human flesh had a very typical scent, which could also be sensed in his lover's aroma, however, Zero carried an additional odor of hunter essence and exuberant strength. There was no craving in this moment, though he could clearly smell the fresh blood running in those veins. He bent down, fangs were about to brush on soft, exposed skin...

Unexpectedly, a strong pull lifted his collar, yanking him out of the human, and deliberately throwing him at the floor. Tsubasa clutched his lover in panic, yet the intruder insistently gripped his wrist, tempting to drag him out.

"Takuma... Takuma..."

His call stopped the sudden aggressor's attempt. Bloody Rose was taken out.

"What are you doing here? Drinking human blood to heal yourself?" Zero shouted, his muzzle turned to aim at the collapsed pureblood "I can arrest all of you for violating the pact."

His anger frightened the weak human. Takuma felt his lover's grip loosened, he looked down, worriedly rubbing his whitened face "Tsubasa..." Someone should have prevented this hunter from disturbing them, but he didn't have a heart to think whose fault it was right now. Lifting his insensible lover up into his arms, Takuma was about to run out in a hurry.

"Make one more move and I'll shoot you." Zero said sternly.

Kaname struggled to roll up with difficulties, using both his hands to cover his damaged face. "Don't you think he's a victim? Let them go! He needs help urgently!" He stuttered as looking further, seeking for his fallen mask.

Zero hazily reckoned who the person in Takuma's embrace was. Everyone knew the noble's lover was a human with a serious heart problem. It's weird to meet all three here, in such a situation. At first sight, Zero thought Kaname was drinking blood to speed up his recovery. All hunters were programmed to think that way. In his very first thought, all he saw was an innocent human being attacked by a vampire, and his very first reaction was to stop that vampire.

Takuma gazed at the furious hunter, waiting. As soon as catching a glimpse of hesitance in those amethyst eyes, he rushed out with his beloved, leaving Kaname alone, assuming the pureblood was going to be fine on his own. For thirty years, he had always believed Kaname was more powerful than him, therefore, could take perfect care of himself, could handle any situations without his assistance.

_"Let me know if I hurt you."_ It could only be Zero, who would concern about him. The pureblood didn't expect it from Takuma. Not before, and definitely not now. He crawled up, reaching to the solitary mask which were a few inches farther. A sudden shot callously destroyed it in a blink. The tips of his glove singed, heat burnt his fingers. Hunter poison was in that fire, he clenched his teeth to suppress a groan of pain, but no blood was shed. Flesh and blood had been depleted in the damaged part of his body. Under his clothing, it was only dried bare bones.

His lover could no longer recognize him…

Kaname desolately used both trembling hands to shield his malformed face. He didn't think Zero would come back that soon, especially to witness him biting another person. It was a serious disobedience, a disrespect to his lover's ideals, a betrayal to his trust. Ironically, he couldn't plead for forgiveness, he couldn't submit himself to punishment, because he didn't want Zero to have a gleam of sympathy for him, didn't want him to lessen his aversion, or to get a feel of sorrow when hearing about his death some day in the near future.

The exquisitely-carved door from a side of the room was opened, Seiren walked in with another metal mask on her hands, totally ignoring the hunter's presence. She passed by him, going straight to her master, carefully helped him to put it on, and fixed the black strings behind his head. The pureblood leaned on her arms to stand up, his movements were oddly slow and clumsy as though most of his strength had left him since last night. Seiren didn't say a word, but quietly guided him back to the couch. After being settled, Kaname grabbed her hand "Leave, Seiren!"

A glint of protest quickly subsided on her face, she nodded, then stepped backward to disappear behind the door where she had come from. As his bodyguard, it was her duty to protect him from anyone who had the intention to harm him, regardless of who that person was or how strong he could be. She should have stopped the hunter from entering this room earlier, but this morning, after he left, Kaname ordered her not to obstruct him when he came back. Moreover, she wanted Zero to break the deal between her master and Takuma Ichijou. She had lived with Kaname long enough to understand what he was going to do. Unfortunately, she wasn't in a right position to stop him.

The heavy door was closed, blocking all sight and sound from the outsiders.

Zero lowered his gun. That shot was unreasonable, but he was fervently angry. Witnessing a vampire biting a human was the most infuriating scene to any hunter. His fear made him react before he could seriously think it out. Had it been another vampire, he would have fired right from the entrance, instead of rushing to pull them out by his bare hands.

After leaving the HA, he was supposed to go home, however, he turned around and drove out of the parking lot again when it was time to get out and went up to his apartment. Aimi was waiting for him there. She had sent a text earlier, saying she would like to have dinner with him. But he wanted another drive first. It wouldn't take too long, he needed a bit more time to cool down from a long day in the library.

He didn't mean to avoid her, just didn't long to meet her either. As far as he remembered, nothing had ever been able to excite him. Toward anything he usually showed an absolute composure to cope with. It's probably a trauma after that night, he was lack of passion.

An unpremeditated drive led him to the Kuran mansion. When getting conscious of where he was heading to, it was already very close. Hard to say it was a habit since he only came back from there once, and it was pretty far from the HA. Was it a subconscious? All his mind had been occupied with thoughts of Kaname Kuran, for the first time he got a clear emotion, an intense anger. The pureblood seemed to rouse his bile each time they met. It's not that he had never got displeased, but those previous times weren't too bad to lose his temper. Perhaps he held a grudge against vampires, which made his irritation to Kaname become worse, or what the pureblood did affected him deeper than the others, and as a result, he couldn't handle it well? When seeing him biting another person, he didn't view it as a crime, he viewed it as a... betrayal.

That weird perception startled him. Maybe he had been moved by those beautiful, gloomy eyes in the photos, he seemed to feel his lonely soul, he expected better from him. After last night, Kaname wasn't just a vampire, but a vampire who had saved him and slept with him. He was angry because the pureblood didn't attach importance to it, and because… he touched another person. To re-think about it carefully, that person was Takuma's lover, the noble hadn't simply brought his beloved here to feed his ex.

"You were not feeding on him. You were turning him."

Kaname managed to glimmer a smirk, hopefully his unregretful attitude would drive the hunter away before his fake facade fell down and his deep longing reached out for him. He was so pathetic, but it's too painful to reject the man who he had ceaselessly craved for. Last night he held Zero with fervency, blood from his injured wrist stained over the hunter's shirt. He didn't restrain his true feeling when his lover was highly in heat, he kept telling him over and over how much he loved him. He chanted his name in ecstasy, he begged for more and more, despite that his wrecked body was unable to take that much.

Because when that moment finished, he lost him again. Now face to face, as the hunter was fully in his clear mind, all he could say to him were loathful words "It doesn't matter anymore, because you have ruined it."

"Are you a fool? When you give your blood to him, you have to have sex with him." Zero yelled, his eyes widened with shock, while struggling to refuse his own nasty supposition that Kaname was the lecherous type who loved seducing other men, he refused to think his intuition had been wrong, and he was merely one of them.

The pureblood stiffened. It was a shame to be told like that, especially by his lover. Since that night, Zero was his man, his life, his love, and as a matter of fact, he was legitimately his husband. The Kiryuu crest on his right arm was a firm evidence of the hunter's love and trust. But right after that night, he abandoned him. One day Zero would acknowledge another person as his official wife, would give her the tattoo of his family's crest, would... love her.

Kaname felt like his heart was being crushed up. For Zero, he didn't have thirty years of patience to wait for his coming back, for him he didn't expect anything in return for what he had given. If the hunter was a flame, then he was willing to be a mayfly, to burn his body in that fabulous flame and be happy that his silent dedication could make that flame a bit brighter. After leaving him, he continued carrying out his promises. Two of them had been fulfilled, Zero had established a steady standing in their societies, and had had his revenge upon Shizuka Hio. However, turning Tsubasa was a condition which the pureblood had to accept in exchange for Takuma's support. He wanted to prevent any accusation against his lover after that fight. He wanted him to be safe and maintain all privileges as well as relations he had worked hard to achieve. The after-drink arousal could only be released by the pure blood giver, but it wasn't how it was going to happen. Kaname managed to pull himself together.

"It is within my intention." Ironically, words were contrary to what he was truly thinking, the burgundy in his single eye darkened with base sarcasm "If a human accepts it at his free will, my act can't be judged as a breach. You have no right to intervene in my personal issue. Or... are you jealous... Kiryuu?"

Zero stared at him, sincerely not expecting for such bad manners, but the moment he thought his fury had been up to its highest, he remembered chairman Cross's incomprehensible words. When Kaname died, the last sentence in his profile would say he was alone after breaking up with Takuma, and finally committed suicide. Cross wasn't a biased person, and definitely not dull. He respected accuracy, and as the HA president, he would never bend his pen to write a wrong thing in history. But why was he hiding the truth of Kaname Kuran? Why did he intend to say the cause of his death was suicide? Why did he know the last sentence of his profile was going to be written?

Zero felt so frustrated. Last night was like a bad dream, but in that bad dream he felt a warm, affectionate embrace, and a melodic voice lovingly whispered his name. _"Don't worry, Zero! You will feel better soon." _Perhaps it was an illusion produced by his brain, yet those illusive words obviously encouraged him to overcome the fear of uncertainty and disorientation. He wanted to thank Kaname, wanted some kind of connection to repay his favour. However, he couldn't hold a decent conversation with this secluded pureblood. Was it because of their age gap, their different thinkings, their unalike lifestyles, or the upheaval which resulted in the pureblood's current situation, whatever it had been, had changed his attitude and made him fail to communicate with the others properly? Zero knew he was trying to defend Kaname, and hoping to see the elegant side of his personality, which he seemed to have touched while looking at his photos.

"Why did you come there last night?" He asked in perplex. It's undeniable that the pureblood had been with him in the lurch, though his real motive remained unknown.

"To assist you. Does it sound sweet?" Kaname chuckled "I had an old score with Hio, but I can't settle it on my own in my current condition. Luckily, you're so eager to fight with her."

"You used me?" Zero asked distrustfully.

"Come on. Both of us benefited from it. You can't deny that I saved your life."

The pureblood's answer seemed rather logical, there was hardly any other possibility to explain his interference. Zero couldn't pick holes in what he said, though somehow it was unconvincing to him, because there were vague, jumbled images in his mind of a tender, caring Kaname, or maybe he was just too stubborn to admit his misconception.

Up to last night he had never questioned about his own sexual preference, never supposed his first lover might be a male. Since the hotel receptionist told him it was a woman who made the check-out procedure, and the fact that he was engaged to Aimi Takamiya, he assumed he was straight. Nevertheless, he had just had sex with a man, and a very strange mix of feelings had conceived in his heart. There were a confusion, a gratitude, a blindness, a sense of responsibility, a compassion, a regret on a perceptive background of loneliness. Both of them were lonely, though Zero kept a distance with the others because he wasn't sure who he was, while Kaname stayed distant because he was hiding his true self.

"You didn't have any score with Hio. You've never met her." The hunter mumbled. After spending a full day in the library to read about this pureblood, he at least could tell that much.

Yes, Kaname was lying. He had come there because it was his lover's fight, he couldn't stay at home, calmly waiting to hear the result. He wanted to be with him, to see his victory, and in case something unexpected occurred, he could support him, or at least, die together with him. From the beginning, he had known they couldn't live together, he was ineligible to be the hunter's official spouse. Another person might think loving someone else more than his own life was a blinded, silly, premature point of view, however, different people valued life in different ways, depending on what they wanted to live for. Kaname had had his naive, blinded, premature period, falling for Zero hadn't happened at that time. He realised his love for the hunter after a long lasting relationship, and having seen enough how humans and vampires struggled for their happiness. He broke down his original intention of anonymously supporting him to pursue his love, understanding it could only be his own death at the end, because Zero strictly followed the traditional customs of his family. Nevertheless, the hunter had given him an amazing experience of being passionately loved and cherished.

If only he could fall into his embrace right now, to tell him all about his agony, his suffer, how hard to live without him, how much he longed for his touches.

Miss him...

Miss him with every single cell of his whole being...

"Young man, don't be so naive. How can you be sure? You think your hunters can record each detail of my life? I bet they have no clue of my love adventures after Takuma, and do you think they have found out about our romantic night?"

A sardonic, arrogant tone slyly struck the ache of agitation in the hunter's heart. Zero couldn't see his tears, because Kaname was desperately struggling to hold them back. Bursting into crying now would defeat all his exertions so far. On that night, it had been decided that his lover would have a proud, happy life, would be praised and respected by the others, nobody could find a reason to look down on him, nobody could say a bad word to him. If there was a relation between them, his lover would immediately become a target for denigration.

"I could have left you there to struggle for your own survival. But I have to admit that I'm attracted to your looks."

_Please stay away from me, Zero!_

_My selfishness is growing more and more._

_Please go, before I ruin your life._

"Looking at you give me a lot of indescribable desires, because you... I at least gave you a chance to get even, didn't I? Though I was sure you wouldn't kill me. Your people absorbed strict rules and severe trainings that can't be flexible anymore. It's very easy to guess what your next step would be. I knew you would come back, just didn't expect that soon. Last night you squeezed me and thrust into me with no restraint. I'm still trembling to think about it. As you can see, I'm not completely healed yet. But if it's you, I'm always ready for more."

.

.

.

"I would rather die than have you as my savior."

This time Zero wasn't sorry. What he thought, what he felt might be wrong, however, he was hearing those obscene words by his own ears. There was no way he could misunderstand what Kaname was saying. That's right, the hunters couldn't be aware of everything going on to those vampires, they just tried to gather as many details as possible. This pureblood's profile in particular hadn't been updated for a while, it didn't mention his deformation, nor say he had isolated himself from the society. Even if truth was skulking somewhere, Zero was completely disheartened to find it out.

Since waking up on that day, he had been living to pay for a past which he had no clue of. A Kiryuu hunter must be responsible to his association, must work hard to reach the supreme level and be respected by the others. A Kiryuu man must think about his lineage, his family's reputation, his next generation before his own life. Everyone said Zero had strictly followed those teachings, and been his parents' pride. They expected him to continue it, to accomplish what his past-self had planned, however, they didn't know the struggle in his forgotten past-self's inner feelings, or the current frustration of keeping up an image which he didn't believe once belonged to him. There was a frozen area in the bottom of his heart, where he couldn't touch, no matter how hard he tried, and a deep, unfilled gap in his soul, which was dripping an incomplete feeling to haunt him all day and night. His mind couldn't be at peace as long as he was unable to remember who he had been. Beside that, the marriage with Aimi was another responsibility which his past left for him. And when all those remained unresolvable, he fell in debt to Kaname Kuran, the most nasty, lowest person he had ever known. It was impossible for him to tolerate such a person. What he said was involuntary, yet it was what he was honestly thinking about him...

**-to be continued-**

_Posted: __19 __April__ 2013_

_Please let me know what you think about this chapter._


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N**__: Thank you for your reviews! There are 2 chapters left. But I'm thinking about combining them into a long chapter :-) Enjoy reading and wish you all a nice weekend!  
_

**- CHAPTER 3 -**

Snow kept falling heavily, putting one more layer on the ground which had already been thick in its frosty coat. Life seemed less in this season, with denuded trees, frozen lakes and an endless immensity of white. It was the first Friday after people getting back to work from the holidays, his colleagues were going out for a drink, but Zero made an excuse of having dinner with his fiancee to politely refuse their invitation. As a matter of fact, he wanted some private time for an important issue.

The car ran smoothly on the road, traffic was pretty light, and driving home had become a habit which he didn't need to pay much attention to keep track of where he was going to. His elbow rest on the windowsill, hand neglectfully grabbed forehead as his mind was floating on an earnest, gentle voice from the cd player. He often listened to symphonies while driving, this interest had followed him since he was much younger, and it explained the good collection of symphonies in his car. However, he was now listening to a speech which had been directly recorded in a medical seminar several years before, though what he was hearing wasn't the knowledge that speaker was transferring, but a feeling of an oblivious, vague connection between them.

Weird. Yes. He had never lived through a minute without wondering what type of person he had been in the first twenty five years of his life. The older age one was when amnesia happened to him, the harder he struggled to deal with it. He had found a hypnotist to help him search for his forgotten past, despite of Cross's disapproval. Unfortunately, there wasn't any result, no matter what methods they used. His past was completely erased, as if the day his family were murdered was the first day he was born.

His car parked at the usual place in the parking basement, but he lingered to finish the cd, before taking it out, and starting to gather the books and some other disks on the passenger chair. Tonight he was having dinner with Aimi. At this time she must be completing the dishes in his apartment. Her cooking talent was great, especially since her sister-in-law was a renowned cook, who owned a famous Japanese restaurant in Sapporo. Every Friday Aimi came to cook for him, then they spent some quiet time together as a couple of old friends. They hadn't slept with each other yet, he even rarely had physical contacts with her. If having to define what relationship they were in, he honestly couldn't find a correct word, though wouldn't deny that she was a steady part of his repetitive routine, an important part of his monotonous life, something he gratefully accepted, but regretfully failed to develop into a more beautiful and significant sentiment.

As the door was opened, a head turned around from his sofa to greet him "Hi, Zero!"

"Kaito-san?" He was a little surprised, the older hunter often stayed with his parents a couple of weeks on New Year's occasion. This year he returned quite early.

"Welcome home, Zero-san!" Aimi smiled from the adjacent kitchen. She's wearing a light pink apron, and was preparing fruits for their dessert. "Oni-san came back this afternoon. He couldn't wait to congratulate your victory."

"It's a miracle." Kaito chuckled "I thought I would come to visit you in a hospital or something."

"Yes." Zero stuttered. "Excuse me!" He showed the things in his hands to imply that he needed to put them down and get ready for dinner before they could talk more.

All of them had had confidence in his fight, however, they didn't expect him to get it over without serious injuries. In fact, he didn't know how the result would have been if Kaname hadn't come to help him. It had been five days since he left the pureblood's house in anger for the second time. He hadn't heard from him since, yet his mind sank deeper and deeper in thoughts about him. Instead of the bedroom, he went straight to his study. A book was carefully put down next to the other on his desk, the cds were in separate cases with neat, upright labels on each. They were the pieces of his forgotten past, which had finally returned to him. What was their hidden meaning?

Maybe he missed the light knock on his door, because Kaito decided to get himself in, and once again announce of his presence "Zero! Dinner is ready."

"Thank you."

The older hunter ignored his future brother-in-law's answer to take a look at his desk. All were medical materials. "Kaname Kuran." Those two words were repeated on each book cover and cd label.

"We have just had a new-transferred doctor, he happened to be my old classmate." Zero explained "He said he didn't have a chance to return them to me before moving to another province for his first job after graduation."

"This pureblood was an inviting lecturer at your university." Kaito said thoughtfully. As a hunter, he remembered each pureblood's background. Moreover, Kaname was familiar to his family as the generous sponsor for his sister's study since their family had been in financial difficulty. Kaito was a typical hunter. The Takamiya ancestress was one of the strongest hunters in history, however, his father was a disgrace since he couldn't reach the supreme level, no matter how hard he tried. His entire life was spent on training, he totally ignored the role of a husband and a father in his family. Luckily, his friends didn't turn their backs on him. Kaito's father-in-law was a dignitary in the HA, who preserved a good position for him in the headquarters. He was married to a kind, caring wife, as arranged by his parents, had lovely kids, and constantly tried to improve himself to regain his family's reputation. His strength grew faster than other hunters of the same age, and was expected to reach the supreme at his early forties, though certainly couldn't be compared with Zero, a super exceptional case, who achieved it at twenty five. As for Aimi, Kaito had been cultivating her relationship with the young, powerful hunter. Having her next generation mixed with the Kiryuu's blood would secure their status in the highest rank. Many times he reminded her of not ever telling Zero that he once terminated their engagement.

"I never missed a seminar where he was a speaker, and recorded his full speeches each time. I had all of his books, and books he co-wrote with other doctors." Zero didn't take his eyes off the books which were kept in good condition as his friend knew he highly valued them. "But I had found none in my book shelf. There was no trace of Kaname Kuran in my home."

"What do you mean?" Kaito was confused. In fact, he had no clue of their relationship. They hadn't been close before, the younger hunter had never told anyone about how he truly felt for Kaname.

"Why did his books disappear? Why did nobody tell me I had planned to start my job at Kuran General Hospital?" If his old classmate knew about it, it wasn't a secret, the others such as chairman Cross or Yagari-sensei should be aware of it as well. They all said they told him as much as they knew to help him continue his life, but it seemed there was information purposely concealed.

"You've thought too much. It's probably an idea that you decided not to follow. I don't think your father would agree you to stay here after graduation." Kaito knitted his brows, some bad prediction suddenly popped up in his mind.

"Probably. I was the heir after all." Zero nodded. "I should've known that too, but I was seriously considering staying. It frustrates me that I can't remember what I thought." Perhaps it's because of his lover, who was very likely to live in Hokkaido, he wanted to stay close to her. "I haven't come back to Okinawa for years. I didn't have the courage to visit my family's grave before revenging for them. Why did death spare me on that night, while all my uncles, my cousins fought those heartless creatures to their last minute? My father failed to several fatal injuries, and my mother committed suicide by an athame next to him."

Kaito gave Zero a gentle squeeze on his shoulder "You should take some time to visit them soon, and visit my family. They really miss you."

The younger hunter turned to look at him. Kaito was like a good example of a big brother. He honestly respected him, and appreciated his kindness, but it only made himself feel worse for his lack of love to Aimi "Can you trust your sister to me? Do you think I deserve her?"

"Definitely. I also believe she will make a perfect wife."

"I have no doubt." Zero smiled sadly, then lowered his face "But I'm afraid I can't be a good husband."

Those words sounded like a threat to Kaito. He understood this young hunter had never fully committed to the marriage arrangement, and he wouldn't allow him to step out of it once again. "Was it a trauma after the fight? You two have been in perfect harmony. Aimi has relentlessly worried for you all these years."

"She has done a lot to me, but what have I done to her?" Zero sighed "You don't know what I used to be. I'm afraid when my past is revealed, all of you will regret. I wondered why none of my injuries were serious. If Shizuka was killing my father, shouldn't I try my best to protect him, or used my body to shield him? Did I just stand aside or... I actually wasn't there at the beginning?" He bitterly criticised himself. Those suspicions tormented his mind incessantly. He had expected to find peace after the vengeance, however, even Shizuka's death couldn't reduce his irresponsibility as a son. "I lost my birth mark before getting married. Was it right for a hunter? Was it fair to Aimi? Was my lover a bad person for leaving me or because I had never treated her well?"

Not that Kaito had never considered those facts. He was too traditional to accept what Zero had done. In other hand, nobody was aware of them, and his desire to have the younger hunter as his brother-in-law made him overlook everything else. "Who cares what you used to be. What matters is how you are now. We're proud of you. All I want is you and Aimi have a happy family together."

"Zero-san, oni-san! Dinner is cooling down." The girl's voice echoed from the other side.

"We're coming." Kaito answered.

Zero looked at his future brother-in-law's back when he was walking toward the door, and imagined a cosy dinner awaiting for them out there. It felt like he was taking advantage of their kindness. Fixing some problems for her computer and electrical appliances, taking care of her when she got a fever, giving her a ride now and then weren't big things to count. He could continue doing them for the rest of his life, but was it enough? Would it make their marriage a happy, successful one? He still hadn't told them the fact that he had slept with a male recently. It's not something before his amnesia, it's what he was now, regardless of how to look at it, he cheated on Aimi again.

"I think I know who my ex lover is."

Kaito squeezed the door handle, but managed to calm himself down before turning around "Who is it?"

"Kaname Kuran."

It's laughable if he heard it yesterday. But not now, after seeing the stuff on the younger hunter's desk. "Impossible. He's as old as your father, and he was in a relationship with Takuma Ichijou. As far as I know, you're straight."

"Had we been lovers, I wouldn't let anyone know it." Zero didn't know he understood his past-self thoroughly. For a young, promising hunter who fell in love with a pureblood of his father's age, he would surely never expose it. It's kind of selfish, however, public opinion wasn't easy to ignore, especially when it's not only about himself, but also about his family's pride and reputation. "If someone can confirm it, I'm afraid it's just Kuran himself."

Kaito curved his lips in a complicated snigger. Where was their conversation going? He hated to think his sister and Zero were simply not meant to be. At least it's still lucky that the young hunter trusted him enough to confide in this issue, so he could guide him back to the right track in time. "Do you love him?"

Kaname used to be gorgeous. Zero remembered his old photos which he had seen in their database. In any aspect, the pureblood's natural beauty stunningly attracted his full attention. He was a man, but he didn't carry a strongly masculine impression, each of his gestures was elegant, and his look was so delicate. Maybe Zero wouldn't fall head over heels in love with him at first sight, but _**if **_he had someone like him confessed, and _**if**_ he believed that feeling was true, then it's only a matter of time until he gave in. Such assumption suddenly made him think about some romantic novel or a soap opera where a handsome man and a beautiful woman started their relationship out of gratitude or arrangement, then gradually learned about the other's good points and fell in real love at the end.

"No." It's not going to happen in their case. Zero was unable to feel love, because that ability had been locked in the frozen area of his heart. If he could, he would have already fallen in love with Aimi. "But I possibly did. I had a feeling that our relationship was deeper than it looked. These stuffs are the evidence of my admiration to him. There's a photo of us in the database, and I wanted to work at his hospital. You know, he assisted me in the fight." It was kind of a surprise, yet the next was going to be a real shock "I slept with him after that... He fed me his blood to heal my allergy, and..."

"What allergy?" Kaito didn't remember how long it took until he could open his mouth to ask that short question, after Zero left his sentence unfinished. He hadn't estimated this issue properly. Now he was feeling it's a trap. That pureblood was trying to take this young, innocent hunter away from his family.

"Shizuka's scratches."

"He should've brought you to the HA." Kaito snapped, then sighed. Of course Kaname wouldn't do it, he wanted sex with Zero and tie him with responsibilities. Totally unexpected, yet he wouldn't lose to this challenge. "Did he imply he's your lover?"

"He told me he's infected." Zero shook his head "He wears a mask to cover the deformed half of his face." This was the second time he exposed the pureblood's current situation. Cross and Kaito were two persons who he trusted at most. In confusion, he would like to seek for their advice. The chairman seemed to know about his past, but for some reason wanted to conceal it. Now it could only be Kaito. It's contradictory since the older hunter was his fiancee's brother. However, Zero believed he wouldn't give a subjective opinion for his own benefit. As men to men, as true brothers, he hoped Kaito would tell him a right thing to do. "I want to search for my past, to fill up the void in my soul."

Wasn't it the responsibility of his fiancee to tell him what had happened in his life? It meant he and Aimi hadn't been close to each other, despite of their engagement. This whole problem was giving Kaito a headache. If Zero had slept with Kaname, it wasn't a trifle anymore. Even if not worrying about he had possibly been infected as well, it's very likely that he would take responsibility for their night and leave Aimi. At this point, Kaito decided to give Zero a solution. In one hand, it looked like he was unbiased. In other hand, it would eliminate this threat once and for all.

"Why don't you test him to find out the truth?"

ZxK

Kaname had come. Zero heaved a sigh to brace up his courage before walking down to see him. This restaurant belonged to Kaito's wife. Today they were their only customers. All waiters had been informed that they were going to have a special dinner reserved for two. The first person came quite early, and the second wasn't any close to their imagination. He was wearing a white suit which was perfectly designed to cover his skinniness. His tall figure and serene countenance presented the grace of his high social status. The left hand was hidden in a white leather glove. Shining chestnut hair gently obscured the half-faced metal mask, yet it was still visible that he got a very straight bridge of nose, and his pale lips were somewhat seducing. Nevertheless, 'attractive' wasn't the proper word for description. If attending a masquerade, he could be appealing. However, it was pretty bizarre to dress that way in normal life. He must have already been used to what people thought about his appearance, because his single eye only focused on the young man walking toward him.

"Thank you for coming." Zero said as ceasing his steps in front of him..

"I can't say no when you insist it." Kaname replied. Indeed, he hadn't planned to take the hunter's invitation, but Zero didn't accept his refusal. After their unsmooth conversation on the New Year's day, he thought his beloved would never contact him again. It would be better if they stopped seeing each other, and returned to their unacquaintance. However, it seemed Zero needed this meeting. Unlike the previous times, he didn't run to his house, but asked him out.

This restaurant was totally empty, Kaname could smell the eaglewood scent right in the first instant stepping in, though it was subtly mixed with other fragrances. His healing ability had been significantly weakened, as a result, his body was vulnerable to all externally harmful elements, and eaglewood was a poison to vampires. Of course it needed a good amount to cause a real damage, but to one whose immune system had been infected, it was dangerous. Kaname could turn around and leave immediately, however, this was the danger his beloved had arranged for him. Even if Zero wanted to kill him because hunters couldn't sleep with anyone else except their spouse, he was willing to go along with.

"Follow me!" The hunter walked to the staircase, then held a hand out for him, implying that he would like to help him go upstairs, where a private room had been prepared for their dinner.

It was weird in the waiters' eyes as it's not that difficult to use the staircase. Each step was large and low. If Kaname was a woman, they might understand that Zero wanted to be polite to his girlfriend. But he was not. Their winces unhesitatingly showed a deep compassion to the person who was accompanying that peculiar man.

The pureblood's hand was soft and warm. While Zero just held his own hand out, Kaname squeezed it lightly to steady their contact. He wasn't anxious. Zero wondered if he realised anything. The staircase had been executed an anti-vampire charm, without touching a hunter, Kaname couldn't step on it.

After entering a small room where eaglewood was sharper in the incense burner, he released his hand. The pureblood sat down at a low table, staying silent when all of dishes prepared for their dinner were brought on at once. The door eventually slid close. It was also sealed by the same magic which hunters used in their buildings. Door charm was one of their strongest weapons, since it was the first protection against vampires, also the last in case they needed a shelter when unable to continue their fight. Kaname wouldn't be able to get out by himself.

Now it was only two of them.

How long would his beloved stay with him before leaving him alone here? He didn't want to think about what arrangement Zero had done, but the one thing he absolutely believed in was the hunter had truly loved him. Unexpectedly he recalled his plea for a three year time with Zero, even if he had to pay by his own life when it finished. Had it gone that way, then a dinner with him at the end, instead of a death penalty in front of his family, was definitely a good conclusion.

Zero poured hot sake into the pureblood's glass before filling up his own one. "Please finish our glasses!" He stammered, and hastily emptied it in one gulp.

Kaname also finished his glass. There was no strange taste, but it's obviously... different. The liquid vanished right in his throat, no hot feeling, but his whole body became slack. Everything suddenly turned blurry. As if he was drunk, except that he had never been drunk.

"What did you want to talk to me?" Kaname stuttered, referring to the excuse his beloved had used to ask him out.

"I'm sorry." The hunter's conscience was gnawing fiercely at him for such an obnoxious act "You've been locked. This whole floor is sealed by anti-vampire magic. With your condition, you aren't able to escape." Those words were like stabs in his own flesh. It's definitely not a right thing. Kaname was his savior. He couldn't treat him as a vampire criminal. However, it was his only way to reach the truth. As Kaito said, one was absolutely honest in a life-threatening situation. He must try to be tolerant for a little longer.

_So it is the end._ Zero wasn't going to have dinner with him. Kaname had imagined the worst scenario as soon as stepping in this restaurant, yet he expected to have some more time with his beloved first. Wasn't it ridiculous? How should a disciplined hunter as Zero want some time with him? The pureblood bitterly mocked his presumptuous wish. They were opposite to each other, they were a hunter and a vampire. Even worse, in his beloved's eyes, he was a wanton. He had created that bad impression to push him away, and would keep doing so to his last breath. Sitting had become too much for his overtired body. His mind drifted into haziness, after a dizzy instant, he collapsed on the cold floor.

Zero was astonished with his fall. Sensing something wrong, he rushed to the pureblood's side, and checked his glass. There was a smell-less, tasteless poison. "_All preparations have been done. But I want to be more careful. This is your only chance, I want to make sure it'll work. When you get the result, we'll let him go."_ Kaito had gone too far. Zero had repeated many times that they weren't causing any real harm, yet the older hunter decided on his own to poison Kaname. A part of him wanted to jump out to yell at Kaito and immediately get the antidote. But another part was shamefully hesitant. It's indeed a lifetime opportunity for him to get all the answers he wanted.

"I will bring you home safely, if you reply my questions honestly." His voice was hoarse. It was the first time he threatened someone. Their peace treaty had been signed for decades. Even as a hunter, he had never imprisoned any vampires, but tonight he arranged to trap a pureblood, who hadn't committed any breach. The back of his mind suddenly wondered how Kaname could fall into his trap easily? Did his senses become too dulled that he was unable to recognise their arrangements?

"So it is an interrogation." The pureblood managed a scornful smirk "Shame. I thought you were going to rape me."

"Don't be ridiculous." Zero snapped. When one was at his enemy's feet, he should know better than provoking him. Nevertheless, Kaname didn't change his nasty attitude. His lips had turned too white, face totally colorless. How could one at this state, in this situation, still think about sex? The hunter knelt down, shortening their distance. With a gentle voice, he tried to get it done fast between them "I have an amnesia. I have forgotten all the things before my family's murder. There's one thing I want to know… Did we date each other before?"

Kaname vaguely looked at his beloved. Why was he suspecting it? Because he hadn't played well enough, or Zero had found out something? _It's not dating. You are even more important than my life_. But it was useless to spill it out. Sometimes being abandoned was better than being accepted and becoming a burden. He used to think for himself first, he used to selfishly court the hunter's love and stimulate his compassion to keep him. Thirty years with Takuma had misled him about the meaning of love. Loving someone wasn't to tie that person with himself. In fact, loving someone was to give him the best things he deserved. "You told me not to be ridiculous. I don't date anyone, I just bed them."

"Did we sleep with each other?" Zero felt his cheeks getting hot. Even at his age, sex was still something unfamiliar. His body might know it well, but his mind had never seriously thought about it. Despite of how touched he felt for Aimi's kindness, he never once desired to make love with her, never once desired to see a naked body or think about intimacy. It seemed like a frigidity. Too much pressures over years had taken his sexual instinct away. Who knew, he might be quite contrary before, the loss of his birth mark while he was still single was a firm evidence.

"We have." Kaname uttered. "You can't forget it already."

Of course Zero remembered they had done it recently, however, he was asking if they had before his amnesia. Kaito said one was absolutely honest in a life-threatening situation, but Kaname was pretty calm. Wasn't he scared? Wasn't it threatening enough? The hunter started feeling discouraged. How could he get the right result if his method was wrong? It was a mistake from the very beginning. Kaname was losing his consciousness, the poison took effect very fast on him, because he wasn't in a good health for starter. With his condition, he would never wake up if he passed out. Zero sighed "You're not only my savior. You've been sponsoring for Aimi's study. She will graduate this year, then we will get married. No matter how you live your life, both of us are in debt to you. I'm sorry."

It felt like he was falling into nothingness when hearing his beloved whispering by his ear. Kaname struggled to open his single eye, Zero had given up, his heart ached seeing the frustration on his lover's face. It wasn't easy to deal with an amnesia, it wasn't easy to let go of all the good and bad moments one had been through. Maybe his decision in that year wasn't completely right, but nothing could be perfect, they had to take the more important and sacrifice the other. Zero was going to marry Aimi, they were going to build a family together. With time they would make a lot of happy memories, when his children were born, the hollow in his soul would gradually disappear. "No need to take it personally. I've sponsored many children in Cross Orphanage, not only her."

Zero nodded. "I'll get you the antidote." He stood up, walking out to slide the door open.

Kaito had always stood in the other side. "I thought you determined to get the truth out of him."

"I can't continue a minute longer." Zero whispered "We've agreed not to harm him."

Kaito showed him his open palm with a white capsule "Here." but immediately closed it when the younger hunter was about to snatch it "Now I use the right of your fiancee's brother to ask you leave, Zero! Let me take care of it! I will detoxify him and make sure he will go home safely."

"I want to do it myself." Zero insisted. It was his responsibility. Kaname had been intoxicated because he trusted him. He had come to save him when his life was in danger. In turn, Zero couldn't leave him in this moment.

"Let me do it!" Kaito was even more resolute "Don't give him any hope that you care for him. You're engaged to my sister. You should not ever be distracted by any other persons."

The hunter was reluctant. It was true, he couldn't have any argument with Kaito's rational reasons. If meeting Kaname and some weird feelings for him, which were reeling in his heart, were a type of fate, it was definitely not a blessed fate.

"_Did we sleep with each other?"_

"_We have. You can't forget it already."_

They should never meet again. So separate now or after bringing him home didn't make a difference. As a matter of fact, Zero didn't know what expression he would be showing on his face if walking back in. People thought he was too calm, but he actually just hid his emotions in front of the others. He didn't want Kaito to see his weak moment, more than that, he didn't want Kaname to see it. Amethyst eyes gazed at the senseless wall, trying to pick up an image of the pureblood lying on the floor waiting for him. "Please take care of him."

Kaito waited until sound of the younger hunter's treads down the staircase disappeared, and entered the room, carefully shut its sliding door close again. He walked around the low table which was still full of food, to take a better look at the poisoned pureblood. "Zero isn't coming back. My name is Kaito Takamiya."

Kaname opened his single eye after hearing the newcomer's brief introduction. The figure which was towering above him seemed menacing. He knew his beloved hadn't arranged all those alone. It was reasonable that Kaito was his accomplice, however, his heart sank to know Zero had left. He wanted to see him once more. Though they couldn't have a future, he still wished their time together would never end. What a silly thought! Perhaps one was never mature when thinking about love. It remained unchanged since the first time he held Zero in his arms, thirty years ago, when the hunter was a six month baby, he wished to hold him forever.

"Don't be panicked. I'm not killing you. I'm not interested in questioning you about my brother-in-law's past either." Kaito continued "I just concern public opinion on what you may tell the Vampire Council."

Yes, if Kaname left this place alive, in theory, it's very likely that he would relate everything to Takuma and require him to press the HA into punishing the two hunters who had abducted and tortured him, an honorable pureblood. It meant their careers would be ruined. The HA wouldn't promote someone who was undisciplined, and disrespected their peace treaty.

"You can rest assured what have happened will be in silence forever." The pureblood murmured "I don't wish to be the center of all attentions."

"You've misunderstood again." Kaito smirked "I'm not forcing you to keep silent. I just want to make sure what you are going to say becomes ineffective to us. Zero is pretty hot tempered. But we are true hunters. And as a true hunter, it is my duty to report what I have seen to my superior. I see..." He sat on his heels, with the smirk retained on his face, stretching a hand out to lift up the pureblood's metal mask. "Kaname Kuran has been hiding his deformation."

Who would listen to a discredited pureblood?

**-to be continued-**

_Posted: 4 May 2013_

_Please let me know what you think about this chapter._


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N**__: Dearest readers, are you still around? I have been too busy with RL and couldn't finish the chapter sooner. It was supposed to have another scene, but I didn't want to delay my update any longer, and decided to move it to the next chapter._

_So VK manga has been finished. I still haven't gotten over my frustration and disappointment yet. The first pages were actually deeply touching. I would have been satisfied if it had ended at the page where Kaname held both Zero and Yuuki and blessed them with happiness. Unfortunately…_

_Anyway here is my chapter 4. Will you still be around?_

_**Recap of Chapter 3**__: Zero found some evidences and suspected his relationship with Kaname. Kaito advised him to lure the pureblood in a trap, and forced him to disclose the truth. However, Zero couldn't go along with it, he stopped halfway. Kaito suggested him leaving, and he would give the antidote to Kaname on his behalf._

"You've misunderstood again." Kaito smirked "I'm not forcing you to keep silent. I just want to make what you are going to say become ineffective to us. Zero is pretty hot tempered, but we are true hunters. And as a true hunter, it is my duty to report what I have seen to my superior. I am seeing..." He sat on his heels, with the smirk retained on his face, stretching a hand out to lift up the pureblood's metal mask. "Kaname Kuran has been hiding his deformation."

**C****hapter**** 4**

Winter season…

It was so bitterly cold that people were reluctant to leave their warm blankets. Nevertheless, scandalous news started spreading all over since early morning...

**Kaname Kuran sexually harassed Kaito Takamiya, who testified that the pureblood's face and body have been deformed.**

**Kaname Kuran was questioned at a meeting immediately summoned by the Vampire Council and admitted he had been infected.**

**Kaname Kuran was obliged to resign his position as the chairman of Kuran General Hospital, because his personal image stained the image of the hospital.**

**Kaname Kuran was expelled from his family by the head of the Kurans, Rido Kuran.**

Within a day, he lost everything.

It's all because of a man.

Zero punched Kaito. But the older hunter swore he only reported what had really happened.

Before leaving the HA headquarters, Cross asked him to come to his house in the evening.

ZxK

As Kaito coughing and stammering that this whole issue wasn't involved in any of them, Zero turned around to leave him with his swollen face. Kaito still shouted after him that he didn't make up the story, he didn't slander anyone. Every word he spoke out was simply the truth. Kaname had been hiding his health condition, now he had to face it by himself. Perhaps Kaito was right, he wasn't at guilt, because this entire scandal was all Zero's fault. Had he not requested the pureblood to meet him at the restaurant, nothing would have had happened.

Now Kaname was gone. Zero spent hours searching for him. He came to his house, came to his hospital, he drove indeterminably on unknown, snow-covered roads. They were technically strangers, he didn't know where the pureblood might want to stay in this moment. Kaito hadn't mentioned Zero in his report as wanting to draw all attentions to Kaname and avoiding any rumors against his future brother-in-law. What was unexpected was the pureblood didn't say a word about him either. So he got no blame, because Kaname had taken all blames for him.

When Zero arrived Cross Academy, it's already very late. He hadn't eaten anything for a full day, yet didn't feel a bit hungry when looking at the chairman's untouched meal on the dining table. Cross hadn't had dinner either. A maid showed Zero to the study, where he was sitting at his desk.

"Chairman!"

He looked up from his notebook with tired eyes "Where have you been?"

"I looked for him." The young hunter stuttered, his depressed expression clearly implied the unsuccessful result.

"I've updated his profile and added him to the list of infected vampires." Cross took off his spectacles and wiped them with a part of his scarf. In those moments, his slow movement made him look like an old man, totally different than the ardent, enthusiastic image of his usual self. "What happened between you and Kaito?" He hadn't asked the other hunter, who in his opinion was diligent and ambitious, yet dishonest, though you could never find fault with what he said. Cross had met many people to know what type of person Kaito was. He hadn't prevented Zero from staying close to him, because this person was basically not bad. However, in some certain situation, to protect themselves, people became worse.

"He shouldn't have reported on Kuran." The others didn't know exactly what their conflict was, but their fight had caused a commotion in the headquarters. Zero felt like he was betrayed. "We arranged to invite him there to question about my past."

"What?" Cross put his spectacles back, looking astounded with rage "You teamed up with Kaito to defame Kaname?"

"We agreed to let him go." The young hunter argued. But did it lessen his sin? He hadn't seen him off on his own, he trusted it to Kaito, who removed his mask and his glove, then took a lot of photos before releasing him. In a quivering voice of remorse, Zero related the whole story to Cross. "... I didn't know what he did after I left."

The chairman sighed. At first he thought it would be better for the young hunter if keeping what had happened a secret forever. While teaching his students about the sense of responsibility, he understood it wasn't usually an easy thing to do. When this tragic incident happened to Zero, other responsibilities occurred to him. His situation changed, his relationship with Kaname could no longer be a good support for him, but a hindrance. It was unfair to the pureblood. However, to view it in another aspect, it was unfair to Zero as well. They had taken away his right to decide his own life. "Do you believe Kaname harassed Kaito?"

The pureblood didn't oppose it. In fact, he didn't deny any criticisms. Zero recalled all the lustful words Kaname had said to him. It sounded like he would try to seduce any men. But would he still do it right after his poison was detoxified? Kaito hadn't put the detail of poisoning Kaname in his report, and was ready to refute it at any costs, saying the pureblood was laying blame on his accuser. Once people saw those photos, who would care how Kaname had been set up? Normally, everyone understood evidence for such scandalous denunciation never collected by chance.

Nonetheless, the pureblood didn't try to pull anyone to fall with him. Zero vaguely reckoned Kaname did that to protect him. "I don't know what to think. He flirted with me, but I don't know if he did the same to Kaito. He said he was infected, but Ichijou asked him to bite his lover."

Cross was amazed. It seemed the young hunter had been in contact with Kaname more than he was aware of. His interest in finding him out went further than the day he spent in the HA library to read about him. For years Cross had refused to let Zero know about his past, was it the ultimate reason that led to this consequence? "What have you done these days?"

"I came back to his house, and stopped his attempt to turn Tsubasa Aiba." The young hunter honestly confessed "Each time I saw him, he tried to seduce me in a... bad manner."

It was wrong. Cross understood Kaname didn't wish to get close to Zero. "Did he initiate the meetings? Did he stalk you?"

No. The young hunter startled. He usually thought Kaname wanted to seduce him, but it was him who ran to his house or asked him out. "He never contacted me first." Sarcastically, this revelation only confused him more. "Chairman, there must be a hidden truth when things are conflicted with one another. What is it that you are concealing from me? Did I use to be a villain?"

Looking at the young hunter's despairing countenance, Cross believed what had happened in that night shouldn't stay in oblivion any longer. Telling him the truth was the reason he had called him here. Taking a key from his drawer to open the cabinet behind him, he carried out an antique wood box with the Kiryuu crest engraved in its lid, which immediately drew the young hunter's full attention.

"This is your family's box of tattooing tools. Come to have a look." Cross opened it, and waited until Zero walked over to look at the shining needles neatly placed in separate sets. "I've delayed to tattoo your family's crest on your arm because I didn't want you to see them earlier. After that night, I found them in your room, instead of the ancestral worshiping hall, as if you had just used them not long before. Can you smell the blood of the latest person that received your family's crest?"

Those sacred needles were transferred from generation to generation in his family. They were cleansed after being used each time, but never sterilised, so the blood essence of the Kiryuus' offspring and those who were admitted to the family would remain in them. Zero carefully brought the set of outlining needles closely to his nose, and inhaled a long breath. It had been five years. The scent wasn't strong and fresh as before, yet he still recognised a distinguished essence which outstood from the older ones. Thanks to his knowledge of all purebloods' blood scents, or since he had drunk it recently, it's easy to figure out whose blood it was.

"Kuran."

Cross wasn't hurry to answer. His silence was a confirmation, and he saved a little time for the young hunter to digest his own discovery. Zero unconsciously took another breath of that familiar scent, not to double check the result, but to get a deeper comprehension of a memory he had forgotten. Not long ago, he still wondered why Kaname had appeared at the forest, why willingly helped him to release his arousal. He asked him... if they had dated with each other.

The truth was, they were not just dating, but several years before, he had chosen Kaname as his life partner, and given him his family's crest. For an heir of a renowned, traditional hunter family, neglecting his customs to accept a male pureblood was a very hard decision. And for a proud, powerful pureblood, ignoring his status to submit to a hunter was a courageous wish. What other meaning could it be, if not that they had been in an incredibly passionate love?

Nonetheless, Zero still didn't understand why Kaname had abandoned him, or why he asked him to forget their night. His eyes started stinging. "Why did we fall apart?"

"I didn't know you were a couple to begin with," Cross smiled sadly "until I found this box. You had never told me about your relationship, though I knew Kaname had always cared about you. He had watched over you since the time you started toddling on your feet. The strongest power of a pureblood is his ability to restore all physical conditions and maintain them at their best state. But the most dangerous power is to turn a human into a vampire. Purebloods had turned countless humans into their slaves when we were in war. But they rarely used their reverse ability, turn a vampire into a human, because it costs them a big price. In history, there were some purebloods who paid their own lives to turn their children to human. They can eliminate the turning effect in a newly-bitten human too, though I don't know if the price is less or more." Cross seemed thoughtful, if looking closely, his face had contorted in a mournful expression. "Death isn't immediate, it comes slowly as he has lost the power to heal himself. Minor injuries and sicknesses take much more time to recover while the other ones become irremediable and gradually destroy his body."

Similar to AIDS. Similar to Kaname's situation. Zero managed to swallow a lump in his throat. As an accused, he waited to hear his sentence.

"Hio bit you." Cross murmured in a low voice as though he was revealing a forbidden secret. "That's why I tattooed the hunter symbol on your neck to conceal your biting scars. When I arrived in that night, you had been lying unconscious in his lap for hours, he was using his body to shield you from the first rays of sunlight. It wasn't hot yet, but you were very sensitive to the sun at that time. Both of you covered in blood. His left orbit was still bleeding. He had used an eye and a lot of blood in the procedure to turn you back human. Those injuries have been healed, but you can see how they were healed in the photos Kaito took." His voice became hardly audible. They reluctantly remembered the evidential photos which forced Kaname to admit a disease that he actually didn't have. What saddened them wasn't the horrible look of the pureblood's indented scar, but his mortifying pain to be put in such a humiliation. He had tried to struggle in distress, however, Kaito obviously got the upper hand, and nobody was there to protect him. "His health is now in a very bad state."

Ironically, a vampire couldn't keep his memories once being turned to human. What Zero was suffering wasn't an amnesia as a trauma of his loss. His past had been sealed. Even searching in the deepest corner of his mind, he couldn't recall his emotions of that darkest time. Once he had been dedicated and passionate in love. Once he had used his whole heart to love Kaname Kuran. And while he thought his lover had left him in misfortune, the pureblood had actually sacrificed his own future, his own happiness to give him a new commencement, a new opportunity to rebuild his life, a new opportunity to fall in love and be happy, though this time it would be with another person.

Suddenly Shizuka's nonsensical words made all senses. _"It's a surprise that you are human."_

His fingers reflexively touched the symbol on his neck, trying to feel those tiny scars. But skin was smooth, he almost couldn't recognise any difference. That night she scratched him to reopen them, and Kaname fed him his blood to seal it once again.

When everyone else was at home waiting for his news, Kaname followed him to the fight. So many blurred images flashed through Zero's mind until all descended to an image of his shirt with the blood-stained back as a proof that Kaname had held him ardently when being ravished by him. There couldn't be any pleasure when his frenzy of lust urged him to pound into the pureblood's body outrageously, and didn't care at all how he was feeling. To have him aroused to that extent, Kaname must have fed him a lot, then conscientiously helped him resolve the after-drink effect, despite of his exhaustion. Yet Zero didn't appreciate it. He supposed it was just a simple allergy, and the pureblood should have brought him to the HA instead.

Tea in the following morning had his favourite flavour,

Kaname gently asked him to forget their night.

Forget it…

as all other forgotten memories…

The young hunter's tears fell down, each drop quietly trailed down cold cheeks as the frozen area in his heart started crumbling. He realised in the last five years he had been living a dream. Yesterday he joined hands with Kaito to cause a scandal and made people sneer away the pureblood's dignity, they said Kaname had lost everything for lusting after a man. No denial or protest was said out, his estranged lover accepted all criticisms to keep his dream intact.

"Please let me know where he is." Zero mumbled, clinging to chaiman Cross as the last hope to trace him out.

ZxK

It took six hours from Hokkaido to Okinawa. Zero went straight to the airport and stayed there until he could take the earliest flight of the day to his home town. Naha was totally unfamiliar in his memories, yet brought an uneasy feeling whenever that name was mentioned. It was the place where his family had been destroyed in a pureblood's vengeance. The only time which he could remember in that land was the time he buried them, one by one, and on the last day, figuring out he had had a lover who abandoned him right after the catastrophe. But six hours on the plane reminded him Naha also held the best part of his life, it had nurtured his childhood in the embrace of his family, and when the truth between him and Kaname was lightened, he learned that it must have also harboured their sweetest moments, or the pureblood wouldn't have come there when everyone turned their back to him.

Naha, Zero had finally come back to reconnect to the relationship he once treasured. Ignored the crowd at the airport when a flight landed, ignored the usual bustle of a busy day, he took a cab to the hotel where they had stayed together. Not knowing exactly which room Kaname had rent, he determined to wait for him in the lobby each day. Luckily, they didn't have any big events in the upcoming days, lots of rooms were available, he chose a Deluxe room as the same type as before, hopefully it would increase his chance to find him.

The receptionists were a bit surprised that Zero brought no luggage and wasn't quite sure how long he would stay. "I'm looking for a special person." His whisper fell into a vampire's sharp hearing and earned a sympathetic smile from him.

When Zero was about to go to his room after checking in, a low voice called him across the lounge. "Kiryuu!"

He turned around and spotted Takuma standing near a coach, smiling with him faintly. The noble's presence seemed to re-confirm he had come to the right place, Kaname was staying here. But somehow Zero felt uncomfortable as Takuma was the last person he wished to see in this moment.

"What are you doing here?" Zero muttered as soon as joining him at the couch.

"Waiting to tell you his room number." Takuma sat down, not getting upset with the hunter's surly attitude. "Can I have a few words with you?"

Takuma was the head of the Vampire Council. They had met many times in the meetings between two sides, but never held a private conversation. The other day Zero had seen him and his current lover at the pureblood's mansion. It was kind of awkward considering Takuma was the man who Kaname had spent thirty years with, but above such awkwardness, Zero was grateful that the noble wanted to share with him more details of his past.

They didn't really look at each other. Takuma indistinctly lowered his eyes, and burbled in a soft tone as though speaking to himself. "If you didn't come, I would stay here with him. Just recently, I found out I owe him more than I thought." He laughed at his own foolishness, thinking about the reason why Kaname had lingered on their despondent relationship for thirty years, yet his laugh sounded strained. "You know, after our talk on the New Year's day, I had a very weird thought. I thought… if time could be reversed... I would never separate from him."

Silence responded to his confidence. Takuma held his breath for a long instant, and quietly heaved out. He didn't need to say it, such a crazy thought should be kept in the deepest corner of his heart. Who would like to hear it? Who would feel sympathy with him? It could only mean hurt. He had hurt Kaname by growing a sentiment for someone else when they were together, and let the pureblood get lost in his efforts to keep their relationship. There was nothing he could ever do to compensate for him. With how Kaname had arranged for himself, he was totally hopeless. And that was exactly what he wanted to tell this one particular person. "I don't want some day you will feel what I am feeling. That's why I talked to chairman Cross about telling you the truth."

"You knew it. Why did you let him admit to be infected?" Zero flared up. He was angry at himself no less, and wasn't going to use his amnesia to excuse for his fault. Yet Takuma was well aware of this whole thing, why hadn't he tried to defend Kaname in front of the Vampire Council, especially when he was saying he owed him?

"He asked me to convince them that he **is **infected!" Takuma hissed. "It's the only way to cover **your secret**. I've burnt those photos, and requested chairman Cross to do the same on his side. You better make sure that hunter doesn't keep any or he may use them against you in the future." He sighed, recalling the tenseness in their meeting. "You think those old Councillors didn't have any doubts seeing his scars? A pureblood is too powerful to fail to protect his eyes, despite of who his opponent is. If Kaname had got into such a ferocious fight and lost, his defeater would have already bragged it off widely. In short, it's very unlikely that he could lose an eye, unless he plucked it out by himself. To divert their suspicions, he said he had asked a one night stand to torture him sexually without knowing his disease, that's why those wounds were created and couldn't be healed properly."

A pain slut. An honourable pureblood confessed that he was actually a pain slut, who got infected and deformed by his own debauchery. Those councillors had used the interrogation to ask insulting questions and laughed at him. For the pleasure of having a pureblood in their hands, and feeling higher than someone who they normally had to show great regard, they thoroughly took advantage of the rare situation to humiliate him, while Takuma just sat there, witnessing them criticise him, disparage him, and make any questions to satisfy their perverted curiosity. If he got to say something, it would only be, as the pureblood wanted, condemnations to keep them believing in that untrue fact.

"I've promised Kaname to continue supporting your career." The noble uttered "But after this outage, I can't keep silent any longer." He looked up, desperation was apparent in those green eyes. "Five years ago, after using his own body to absorb the poison that was changing you, we made a deal. When you found Shizuka Hio, I would convince the council to approve your challenge to her, and respect the result, no matter who won. And he would turn Tsubasa." His face twisted into a grimace, feeling uncomfortable to give more personal details, yet he had been waiting here for six hours, despite of his biological calendar, just to tell Zero all these "I come from the strongest noble family, and have drunk pure blood for thirty years, my longevity has expanded much longer, while Tsubasa was a human. When he reached his very old age and passed away, I still wouldn't have passed a fourth of my life. It was the only opportunity for us to lengthen our time together. For the danger and complication of the conversion, Kaname was the only pureblood who we could make such a request. It was finally done on the same day after you interrupted us."

Zero felt like something shattered inside him, as remembering walking onto them on that New Year's day, and exploding the pureblood's fallen mask with his wrathful shot. He yelled at him for his indecent act, then got angrier when hearing sex was what Kaname looked forward to from that bite. It reasoned him into quickly agreeing with Kaito's later suggestion. Had he held some respect for him, he would have considered more carefully about the chance of their arrangement hurting his feelings. But he looked down on him, he was scared of having mistakenly been in love with such a low person. He wanted to make things clear, he wanted to find a good evidence to deny it, and he gave himself a right to hurt Kaname.

That day the pureblood couldn't stand up on his own, he weakly cuddled up on the cold floor and used both hands to cover his distorted face. In such a difficult situation, being beaten by the man he wholeheartedly protected, where did he find enough courage to act so lecherously? Why didn't his love reduce a little bit? Why still trying to drive him away by nasty words to fall into disrepute alone? Zero shamefully closed his eyes. Since his memories were erased, he had many times wanted to question chairman Cross, who seemed to know all the truth, yet he couldn't, out of his great regard to him. He wanted to break up with Aimi, for their engagement was lack of love, yet he couldn't, out of his deep gratitude. How sarcastic, he had always tried to be a gentleman, he usually cared for the others' feelings first, but what had he done to the person who loved him at most? He even wished his savior could be someone else, so he could appropriately play a grateful person.

Shame on him, Kaname didn't expect anything in return.

After pushing him away to protect his future, the pureblood bit Tsubasa to accomplish his part of the deal with Takuma. Next, he had to give him his blood. Once being bitten, the ex-human started thirsting for blood while his body changed. It took a full year to complete the conversion, it was when he reached his strongest point, and needed his master's blood to prevent the falling process. After-drink effect could only be released by the pure blood giver. At that time, they would have to have sex. But Zero knew more than that to believe it wasn't what Kaname looked forward to. It's all because of him, to gain this noble's support. The pureblood had decisively destroyed his own body to cure him five years before, nothing could stop him from fulfilling this condition now, even though the Kiryuu's tattoo, the symbol of his lover's recognition, would disappear once he slept with another person. Since Zero had forgotten their intense feelings when shedding his strong blood to shade the blooming rose on the pureblood's arm, he couldn't imagine how Kaname would manage to live without it. With his endless love for him, with all he had been through, Zero was afraid the absence of their love symbol would hurt Kaname terribly, especially when in a point, it was like he had ruined it by himself.

"I understood that I would overlook it when they had to have sex with each other." Takuma continued, ignoring the hunter's remorseful expression, his voice had become as light as a whisper "Tsubasa couldn't make up his mind. I had been the only man he was with, he wasn't ready to be touched by anyone else, no matter what." A bit warmth weaved its way through his depression as thinking about his little lover's determination of faithfulness. The other day Tsubasa had pointed out it was the big difference between him and Kaname, who had compromised himself by accepting to share his blood and body with his lover's grandfather. Takuma assumed Kaname didn't really care how many people had embraced his body. After all, a pureblood wasn't supposed to have only one lover for his limitless lifetime. Yes, those stupid assumptions, he was panicked to realize Zero seemed to be sinking in the same mistake. "But Kaname promised him there would be no arousal."

The hunter opened his eyes, distraughtly gazing at him through the space of his fingers, trying to search for a reassurance while struggling to discard the fact that after-drink effect was a law of nature, nobody had control over it, no other method to stamp it out. "It's... impossible." He stuttered and despite his belief that it couldn't be wrong, he so hoped for a disagreement. What he was feeling wasn't jealousy, but a profound discomfort. Even though they had never broken up, and so many emotions were whirling up in his heart, he couldn't define their current relationship just yet. At this sensitive point, he couldn't run to Kaname and offer re-tattooing his family's crest on him, he couldn't tell him it was fine if his recognition faded out either, because while seriously regretting for what had been done, and acutely feeling indebted to the pureblood, he wasn't ready to take him as his life partner once again.

Takuma wasn't surprised when Zero showed distrust of his words. It was a blatant lie to say there was another way to quell an after-drink arousal. That's why drinking pure blood was a taboo. Suffering that kind of heat was even worse than an E's blood thirst, and the ending would undoubtedly be much more painful and humiliating. However, Kaname had chosen a solution for them to avoid it. Indeed, it was deadly simple. "He has given me a vial of his blood, enough for Tsubasa when it's time." Takuma sputtered "If you drink the blood of a deceased pureblood, there will be no arousal."

_Haha, you are a fool, Zero! _A mocking voice snickered in his mind as he finally landed in the bottom of the abyss of his egotism. He might not have found the purpose of his life, he might not feel happy, but he still looked forward to the future, he still wanted to protect his fame, he still pondered on what he could give and live up with or what he could not. As a matter of fact, it was just common to any human beings. But to keep him a human being and feel free to choose between options and decide his own path, his lover had given up all chances to be happy. It had been settled before Zero met his old classmate and arose suspicions of their relationship, even before the day Kaname promised Tsubasa there would be no arousal. It was right after returning to Hokkaido alone, and making a deal with Takuma five years ago, the pureblood had planned to end his life before Tsubasa drank his blood, not for the ex-human's sake, but for himself, to stay faithful to the man he loved, and protected the recognition which Zero was **not** willing to give once again.

_Don't dig in his past. Don't change his profile with your supposition. The last sentence of his profile will say 'He was alone after the break up with Takuma Ichijou, and finally committed suicide.' _They had deliberately covered the truth from him. They presumed it would set him free without the burden of his miserable past, but in other aspect, his past was an inseparable part of him, it made him who he was, it brought him to the present. He couldn't suppress the impulse to work with Kaito in finding it out. Yes, he had successfully found it out. Now collecting the pieces of his broken sentiments, Zero wearily pulled himself together, and managed to stand up.

"His room number is 524." Takuma pulled out an envelope which held a door key "He is having a fever, so I escorted him here. Last year he was diagnosed to have a lung cancer, but he decided to stop all treatments after your fight with Hio. Whatever you used to poison him at the restaurant has drastically worsened his disease. I'm afraid he doesn't have much time left."

Kaname had been observing his health conditions carefully to preserve his weakening strength. Takuma understood it was only because he wanted to be useful to Zero, in case the hunter ever needed him. However, after the death of Shizuka Hio, his promise in that year considered fulfilled, there was no other reason to lengthen his agony. The noble was totally shocked to see Kaname's significant debility when they met in the meeting, together with his resignation and absolute loneliness. Those traits continuously urged him to meet Zero. "He wants to draw his last breath in here, and unite with the air of your home town after passing away."

There was a lot more Takuma wanted to say, but words were stuck on his hesitant lips. The envelope was lightly taken from his hand. Looking at the hunter's back, he hoped things would somehow get better for all of them.

May Kaname find peace in the rest of his time.

**_-to be continued-_**

_Posted: 28 May 2013_

_Please give me your feedback._


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: My update has been delayed more than 3 months. I even thought about giving up. It's so hard to keep trying while muse is not there, but I really hate leaving things unfinished. So this chapter is the result of my struggle. I'm sorry that it isn't good, and definitely not as angsty as I want it to be, but it is what I can now _

_Thank you very much for your nice reviews, I appreciate them all, especially __**ArikaHikari, Artemis, heriyandi kurosaki, **__and__** emmawalters090**__ who reminded me that I still have their kind support._

**Chapter 5**

Aokigahara lied at the base of Mountain Fuji with an immensity of trees covering 35 square kilometers of land. The absence of wildlife made it exceptionally quiet, and the vegetation was dense enough for one to easily disappear among the evergreens and never be seen again. Bitterness soaked in the air, sky was somber above the luxuriant leaf canopies. In the last two months, dried blood trailed on the feral ruts of its most savage area. In Japan, Aokigahara was called the Suicide Forest.

Zero raised his flashlight to find a deep cut on a trunk of an ancient tree, as a sign that he had been there before. It was difficult to recognize the directions at first, he and his comrades had to use those cuts to mark their locations. Still holding Bloody Rose ready on right hand, he lowered the other hand with the flashlight to take a quick glance at his wrist-watch. Over half past six pm. It got dark very fast in this forest, the others must have already retreated. They had wasted one more day, there was going to have other victims tonight because of their inefficiency.

Purebloods were brutal and dangerous by instinct. Humans were simply food in their eyes. Even though the peace treaty had been signed for ages, that thirst could never be quenched. Zero had spent five years to chase after a pureblood, and now he was on the hunt for another one, who was recorded as one of the first in this world. The said pureblood had been defeated and fled away thousands of years before, but suddenly re-appeared two months ago, wandering around to bite random humans to gratify his ravenous hunger and vent his deep resentment. As soon as returning from Naha and hearing about his bloody crimes, Zero volunteered to hunt him down, chairman Cross acceppted it and assigned other well-seasoned hunters to assist him. They teamed up to drive the pureblood into this forest last month, however, incapable to capture him. Last week, they got a fierce encounter, Zero was injured. Toga and Cross instantly rushed to take care of him, but the two persons who he thought about most didn't show up.

"_We are now strangers. Even if you got in danger again, it wouldn't be my business."_

He and Kaname had got out of touch after their short meeting. Chairman Cross said the pureblood stopped answering his calls, and there was no reply for all the emails he had sent, despite of what the content was. Zero suddenly felt a piercing pain as thinking about it. The injury on his chest hadn't been fully healed, blood still stained his bandage when Toga helped him to clean it in the evenings. Cross repeated over and over that he should go back home, but the young hunter insisted to stay with them until their mission was completed. Since that night, he was scared of staying alone, he tried to get preoccupied with responsibilities and tasks, and distract himself from deep thoughts of those complications.

Last week, a comrade of his was attacked and bitten, he committed suicide right away to protect his declining humanity. The whole team felt like losing a part of their own bodies, but none of them stopped him. A hunter didn't want to and wasn't allowed to bear the humiliation of being turned to vampire. Death was their only choice once getting bitten. Not everyone was lucky as Zero, not everyone had the second chance to recommence his life.

"_I call for the strongest power of this blood_

_To restore your original nature_

_May your destruction become mine_

_and my strength yours_

_Have a dreamless sleep_

_and wake up as a new person."_

Zero got in this mission not only for avoiding facing his conscience, it was also a persuasion from another respect of his tormenting conscience. He wanted to throw himself in danger, he wanted to experience the roughest side of life, he wanted to be punished for his oblivion, as unable to forget the feel of the pureblood's writhing agony when tardily loosening his tight grip on his shirt. At last, Kaname still chose to let him go. Takuma said the pureblood had stopped all treatments for his lung cancer, meaning his short time left was being significantly reduced. That's why he didn't want to drag out their relationship. Now walking alone in this forest, despite the risk of being assaulted anytime, Zero couldn't help drifting his mind back to the moment he had used Takuma's key to enter that hotel room.

_-flashback-_

_He looked around and saw a medicine container remaining untouched and a full glass of water nearby. Kaname was sitting on an armchair, with a book of serried handwritings between printed lines in his hands._

"_How can you be here?" He stammered._

_There was a second which Zero unmistakably recognized joy in his single eye. The pureblood was happy to see him, and for that fleeting instant of pleasant surprise, he forgot they had no longer been lovers._

"_Chairman Cross and Takuma Ichijou have told me all the truth." The hunter quietly observed his skinny body in a thin white night robe. Compared to his old photos, Kaname had obviously lost a lot of weight, lips were completely pale, no sparkle in the darkened dullness of his eye. Even staying alone, he still wore the half-faced mask and the leather glove to cover his deformation "Shizuka Hio bit me, and you absorbed the poison to purify my humanity."_

_To convert a born vampire to human, a pureblood must use up his strength to alter the vampiric genes. However, to convert a newly-bitten back to his original nature, the substance which was converting him into vampire must be eliminated. Pureblood's venom was harmless to vampires, however, when it entered a human's system, it became poisonous, not only to its victim, but to any other vampires, until his conversion was completed. It could only be another pureblood who was powerful enough to suck it all out and used his own body as the alternative host. Had Kaname really abandoned Zero, it would have been the young hunter, who became completely destructed and turned into an insane, monstrous bloodsucker, or as their strict teachings, already committed suicide to save his dignity. However, reality had happened in another way._

"_I don't know what you are talking about. Please leave!" The pureblood uttered._

_Fate had refused them a lasting happiness, but Zero had given him all he had ever dreamed for. Earlier in that tragic night, Zero had promised to spend the rest of his life with him. At one point, he had been true to his words. His life ended the instant Shizuka Hio bit him, and till the very last breath before he fell unconscious, his whole heart was laden with worries for his lover. But Kaname didn't plan to keep going without him, his ultimate wish was to follow him when he passed away, even if their ending had come too abruptly, before they could fully enjoy their bliss. In the tick of time as Kaname was about to kill himself, a second thought flashed through his mind. Feeling the hunter's weak breaths on his lap, he realized it wasn't the end for his lover yet. If he spent his life in another way, Zero would get an opportunity to start anew. He trembly bent down to kiss his beloved's cold lips. One last kiss to remember forever how passionate their love had been._

"_Don't push me away anymore! Let me compensate for you." Zero went with a quick pace to shorten their distance. As they became closer, he found out the book in the pureblood's hands were full of his own handwritings. It was one of his books, which had been taken away from his apartment to conceal their past. "The fact that you are here, in this city, in this hotel room, and that..." He pointed at the old, well-preserved book "...are evidence of our relationship."_

"_Your words make no senses."_ _Kaname awkwardly stood up to walk away from his lover. The hunter's look was so intense that he was afraid it would break his false apathy into pieces, and he wouldn't be able to stop himself from falling onto the hunter's chest, seeking for his affectionate warmth which he had been crazily craving for. Denial. He shouldn't do anything in this moment, other than denying what had been revealed to keep his beloved on the right track of life._

_A strong grip suddenly seized his right wrist, and before he could swing himself free, another hand forcefully tore his sleeve off, exposing his upper arm, exposing the irrefutable evidence of their commitment._

_-end of flashback-_

Zero managed to struggle out of the depth of stifling emotions, which incessantly attempted to engulf him each time that doleful scene was replayed in his mind. He had thought Kaname would give in, once he could prove their past had been disclosed. But it was him, who got startled when seeing the beautiful rose shining on the pureblood's pallid skin. Its color was flaring in bright red by consuming vitality of the flesh it was on. That rose was the symbol of the strongest hunter line, tattooed by the needles made of anti-vampire metal, and carried their sacred essence. No matter how Zero looked at it, it was like a seal carved on the pureblood's body to torture him day and night. As giving it to him, he mustn't have imagined there was a day Kaname wasn't strong enough to suppress it. But when it happened, the pureblood should have gotten rid of it.

_Gotten rid of it_. Could he? This symbol was an invaluable gift which Zero had given to him. As long as love remained, Kaname would rather die than sleep with another person to remove his beloved's recognition. However, it wasn't in his intention to let the hunter see their love mark, and pressure him with burdens of gratitude.

Shades of leaf canopies got the forest much darker, Zero walked rapidly on the bendy paths which had become familiar to his hunting team. They might have to take this routine for a longer time. While the others were getting more and more frustrated, and couldn't wait to return home, he didn't seem hurried, probably because he didn't have anyone waiting for him. When taking this mission, he departed immediately, without a word for Aimi. After a couple of weeks, he called her. She didn't say anything, except wishing him safety and success. The silence in their conversation hinted something had changed. She didn't show her usual concern, he eventually realized his recent events had disappointed her. Last week, injured and lying motionlessly on the bed, he hoped she wouldn't come, because it was so ashamed of him to see her in such a situation and take more advantage of her. However, it was only chairman Cross and Yagari-sensei who came. Aimi said she wanted to see his blood test three months after his night with Kaname to make sure he was clean before continuing their engagement. It was reasonable, she had all rights to protect her future, as well as abandon him if he became a burden, especially when he hadn't been a good fiancé, and obviously betrayed her in his forgotten past. Their relationship was an arrangement which his past self hadn't respected. Nevertheless, Aimi forgave him and stayed by his side when he lost his family, but she couldn't forgive and stay when he lost himself. Everything had a limit, even Kaname stopped caring about him.

_-flashback-_

_The blooming rose disclosed their commitment, Kaname got dazed by that exposition, and awkwardly lost his balance. Zero felt he was exceptionally light when pulling him close to his chest. Kaname tried to let go, but his struggle was too fragile, the constriction brought a fit of dreadful coughing which he failed to hush up. He literally leaned on his beloved hunter, his face rest on his shoulder. Zero gently slid a handkerchief into his hand._

…

…

…

_Blood scent pervaded the air, Kaname crumpled up the blood-stained handkerchief. "You aren't obliged to compensate me. All I have done are for the Zero who chose me as his partner. You don't recognize me anymore. We are now strangers. Even if you got in danger again, it wouldn't be my business."_

_-end of flashback-_

Zero hadn't believed in those words, hadn't believed such a deep love could ever disappear, until Aimi's absence insinuated a second thought… Maybe it was true. Even if that love remained, it wasn't for him. Kaname would rather hold his happy memories with the past Zero who no longer existed, because the current one couldn't be able to give him that passionate feeling. Though they were one, they were different. Zero bitterly squeezed the strings of his backpack, maybe his attempt to participate in this dangerous mission was completely meaningless. Who would love an uncaring, unfeeling person like him?

Breeze seemed stronger, created by a dense flock of black bats flying swiftly toward him.

The pureblood they were hunting down…

Attacked when he least expected…

ZxK

_Zero has been bitten his wound broke he now in a coma_

An email without subject arrived in the midnight, a few words typed hastily with no marks to separate the three ideas the sender wanted to say... He possibly hadn't finished it yet, but some urgent issue forced him to send it right away, or he's afraid it would make no difference, regardless of how long it was.

The hunting team had finally, successfully killed the insane pureblood, all of them were exhausted, but they immediately started packing up to return home. It was a sleepless night, they hugged each other, they drank, they called their families, they cried… Sadly, no victory achieved without losses, Cross saw them off in the next morning, carefully handed the funeral urn to Toga, trusting him to bring their late hunter's ashes back to his family. He wanted to stay here with Zero, encouraging the young, injured hunter to wait for something he had given up.

…

…

…

A day had gone by as fast as a blink.

Cross stepped forward to the old window looking out the stone gate for the thousandth time, shadow was once again engulfing the empty yard, sun melancholically setting on the west. Zero sat at a table behind, quietly observed every minor expression on the chairman's profile. As a matter of fact, he was even more impatient, but struggled to hide his despair. This idea was a harrowing experience which he had disagreed from the beginning, yet Cross and Toga insisted it would help him resolve the problem in his heart.

Last night, the chairman sent a brief email to three recipients, Kaito, Aimi, and Kaname. He intentionally exaggerated the hunter's situation, and now they were waiting for their responses, though all they had received so far was an absolute silence.

"I'm leaving tomorrow." Zero finally spoke out his decision "We know they would have already arrived if they wanted to." _None of them cares for me_. He didn't deserve their concerns, however, Cross had put him in a situation where he couldn't help feeling badly about their indifference. Aimi Takamiya had been engaged to him since she was born. In the memories which Zero could remember, she was his destined woman. Never once had he thought about leaving her, and how hard had he tried to be worthy to her expectations, worthy to all of her efforts. With generosity and gentleness, she could have made a good partner. There was no love between them, though Zero doubted the meaning of love in hunters' opinion. All of marriages in the hunter families were arranged by their seniors. He knew his past self had wanted to break that traditional pattern by choosing a lover on his own, but in the end his attempt didn't bring any of them a happy ending. He thought he couldn't love Aimi because his heart had been frozen by the 'betrayal' of his lover. In fact, he couldn't love her because she had never tried to touch his heart. It might sound weird, but they had never openly, casually talked to each other as a couple, he didn't know any of her hopes and views, he wasn't quite sure about her likes and dislikes. For the last five years, all she had managed to get was his acceptance, which he eventually gave in on the day he returned from the fight with Shizuka Hio. Holding her exhausted body after a sleepless night, he decided it was time to get married.

Yes, they would have become husband and wife, and lived in harmony together for the rest of their lives, if he hadn't slept with Kaname Kuran on the previous night, then his forgotten relationship wouldn't have been revealed, and he wouldn't have realized he owed another person even much deeper than what he owed Aimi. This unforeseen revelation put him in an intricate dilemma. Everyone knew Aimi was his fiancée, while nobody was aware of his secret relationship with Kaname. One had generously used five years of her beautiful youth to help him through the darkest time of his life, while the other had unobtrusively sacrificed his own future, his own happiness, his everlasting longevity, even his self-esteem to save him. Between those two persons, Zero didn't have the right to make a choice. He wanted to compensate Kaname as an obligation to a savior, just as he planned to get married to Aimi as a part which had been arranged for his life. Yet the pureblood refused his offer, and Aimi wanted a break. He ran away from both of them, ran away from the indeterminable reality, ran away from his own complicated feelings.

"You are staying here with me, Zero! And you will spend the rest of your life to make up for the person who shows up." Cross said sternly, his eyes gazed at the silent shut gate below the window.

Although he didn't specifically identify who he was waiting for, Zero understood he was implying Kaname. Aimi hadn't contacted him since. In fact, she had made it clear that their engagement could only be continued if his blood test proved that he was clean. Her family had been talking a lot about improving their blood line and regaining the old glory of the Takamiya name, it's obvious that they wouldn't like to take the risk of marrying her to the wrong person, and love wasn't an issue to be considered. Although they didn't officially reply to Cross, silence was their official response that they weren't going to make any move. As far as Zero understood about them, the moment they were informed of his so-called accident through the chairman's email, his temporary break with Aimi had come to be permanent, as there was no way they would tolerate the possibility of his being her shameful burden.

So Aimi wasn't coming.

Neither was Kaname.

"I'm not the person in his heart. It was the past me, who wanted to share life with him." Zero murmured "Kaname helped me to kill Hio because it was what the past me wanted to do. But whatever happens to me now is no longer his concern."

The young hunter wasn't quite sure what he himself was talking about. Kaname had told him so, and determined to dismiss him from his hotel room. But if it was true, if Kaname really had no feelings for the current Zero, why did he use his blood to heal him when Hio attempted to break his old wound, then offer his body to release the hunter's arousal? Why did he choose to tarnish himself to protect the other person's future? Why did he never protest against the damages Zero wanted to give him?

"Would you like him to care for you? Would you like him to… love you?" Cross didn't object the young hunter's conclusion, instead he raised a weird question while holding his gaze at some clatter outside the window.

Zero leaned on the back of his chair, looking upwards the plain, white ceiling, hands laying idly on thighs. He wondered if his past self had been a better man, how his life would have been going if that catastrophic night hadn't happened, who would have been the person by his side? Everyone wished to be loved and cared, everyone had their weak moments and needed comfort and encouragements. But would it be ok as long as they have it? Or only the love and care from the person they truly desired for could make them happy? He shamefully realized a silent wish writhing in the deepest corner of his innermost, crooning to him if only his lover, who was willing to sacrifice for him and accept him whatever he became, could be a normal, healthy woman.

Zero squeezed his eyes, he was a coward. He felt guilty, he felt indebted. If Kaname Kuran showed up in front of him, he would have to spend his life to compensate him, in any way possible, as long as the pureblood wanted. But what about himself? Was it fair that he would have to stay faithful with someone he wasn't in love with? Was it fair that he would have no chance to find his soulmate, someone to urge his hand to reach out for, someone to make his heart dance with joys, someone he sincerely wanted to share his life with…

"I would take him as my life partner if he came to see me." His voice was determined, yet weary which became hardly audible in the next part "But I hope he wouldn't show up."

Cross had tried to bring them back together. When he revealed the truth to Zero, he expected the young hunter to persuade Kaname to mend their relationship. And when he sent out the email, he hoped for it even more. But in this very instant, he finally conceded failure. Love wasn't something you could shape or impose on the other, love must arise and develop naturally between the persons. Past was past, they probably could never rekindle their feelings.

The gate was slowly being opened, they were receiving a guest.

"Let's go down to see him."

ZxK

Zero didn't believe in his ears, but obediently followered Cross to a small meeting room at the ground floor. This branch was an ancient building, beside a a spacious lounge and a large conference room, there were some other rooms for short meetings and discussions between a small group. Office area was next to them, however, it's totally quiet and dim. Today was Saturday, nobody was around. Zero dropped his footsteps curtly on the wood staircase until the last turn when he started hearing light cough from a room at the end of the row. That person seemed too worn-out that even his unrelenting cough didn't make much noise.

It was Kaname…

At lengths, he was the only one who came to visit Zero.

Cross turned around to stare at the young hunter when not hearing his steps behind him. There was a distance between them now, Zero was so still right on his very place, a hand roughly gripping the rail. He wasn't ready. Behind that closed door was his fate, there would be no turning back, and even if it was inevitable, he couldn't bring himself to enter the room and give Kaname his promise just yet. How ungrateful and irresponsible, but Cross didn't have a heart to reprimand him. In the last five years, they had pushed him too much. They required him to attend many strict trainings, they demanded him to re-achieve the supreme level, and lived up their expectations, they forced him to give them back the Zero they had learned to know and been proud of, to continue where their Zero had left, to fulfil his goals and plans. Even in his personal life, Cross was asking him to do what he thought his past self would. The person inside that room was his old flame, the treasure of his past ego, not him. Not related to his present feelings. There was no adequate solution for both of them, whatever it was, it would favor one, and reject the other.

So give him a few more minutes...

Cross sighed, resuming his monotonous pace towards the room. Kaname looked up from his seat as soon as the door slid open. Long, black trenchcoat covered his slender body, but the chairman was still shocked seeing his sunken cheek and a dark ring under his gloomy eye. Half face was coldly hidden by the metal mask as usual, the unusual was his complexion had turned so ghastly af if life had already left him. Last time they met, Kaname was still struggling to resist his illness, how astonishing that he was totally changed after two months. An old image unexpectedly popped up in the chairman's mind, when Asato Ichijou brought Kaname to his academy for the first time, the pureblood had already been an introverted, solitary child. Later Cross figured out he had lost his innocence and was coping with some callous issues that he wasn't able to tell anyone. It was almost forty years ago. Kaname had never been happy in his life, except the ephemeral moments holding little Zero in his arms.

"How is Zero?" A glint of intensity flashed in his fatigued countenance, the pureblood seemed to suppressing extreme emotions to appear calm, but the significant changes in his appearance had unveiled all his worries and anxiety since receiving that email, or even much longer, since he and Zero parted in Naha.

"Physically fine, but emotionally broken." Cross couldn't prolong his lie about the young hunter's situation more than what he had written in the email, but these words were actually true. He had witnessed Zero's emotional collapse starting from the New Year's Day, as the young hunter was cluelessly searching for information of his unpredicted savior. After five years in oblivion, bare truth came out all of a sudden, Zero was forced to get to know someone who under normal circumstances he would wish to stay away. He was forced to owe a debt of gratitude to someone who was despicable in his personal opinion, and to make it worse, he was forced to tie his life with him. So "broken" was indeed an understatement. His own sentiments, his own aspirations weren't taken into account, Cross only concerned about how much he could make up for Kaname. "I'm sorry I told him all the truth. I was aghast to know he pushed you to a corner. You can't suffer it after what you've done for him." The chairman muttered. It was the least he could do to defend him. More than everyone else, he believed Kaname deserved to be cared, to be cherished, to be treasured, and to be loved by the man he had devoted his whole life to.

"Does he feel better now? Is he content with your disclosure?" The pureblood smuttered, though the note of sarcasm in his words wasn't enough to cover his deep pain. "Who needs your pity? Who allows you to break him?"

Cross didn't feel surprised that his attempt wasn't appreciated, on the contrary, he thoroughly understood Kaname's unjust accusation. "I thought love would grow within him when you lived together, he actually has a susceptible soul…" He had strongly believed in that assumption, for years he had imagined they could have had a happy ending and that's why he had tried so hard to bring them close to each other, but right before Kaname arrived, he realized it was only his subjective imagination. Taking a quick glance at the closed door, he uttered "Hold on. I'll ask him to come down to see you."

It was actually a warning, so that Zero would have enough time to leave if decided not to see Kaname. From the outside, the young hunter wasn't aware that his hand had already been clenched into a fist, too harshly that his nails pierced into flesh, his whole body was thrilled with the pureblood's passion. Ironically, he didn't feel romantically connected to him, even knowing it was the person who had come to fight by his side against his enemy, then resolute to part ways with him, but finally showed up when he was supposed to have nothing left to offer, no more values to be taken advantage of, except a feel of gratitude. He hadn't had enough courage to walk in together with Cross before, but could he be able to recede now, pretending not to hear a word of their conversation? He had been struggling with his own conscience, and this struggle would never end as long as the debt of gratitude wasn't paid off.

However, the chairman's footsteps had been halted, there's a sound of a chair being moved, for the very first time, Zero heard Kaname initiating to see him.

"Is there anyone staying with him now? Can I follow you?"

Cross turned around with confusion. Many times had he suggested arranging for him to see the young hunter in person, from afar, without Zero's awareness, but in the last five years, Kaname never agreed, saying it was better for both of them not to appear in the same place ever again. Even this time, he was afraid the pureblood only came to speak to him, and would leave right after knowing his lover was fine. However, it seemed Kaname was having some other plan, it took him half a day longer than expected to arrive, and his expression was inconsolably unreadable.

"I've assigned Seiren to go to Naha and bring back to me some sand at Naminoue Beach. Upon her return, she will find out the false scene of my suicide, and a letter asking her to bury my relics together with the sand. Everyone will know Kaname Kuran couldn't get over his disrepute and has committed suicide in Hokkaido." The pureblood gently talked about his arrangements as though he was talking about someone else's fate. Death hadn't been his concern for a long time, his look became tender as thinking about the forthcoming chance to see his beloved. "Thank you for helping me all these years. Could you do me one last favor? I need to stay with him without any disturbance. After an hour, please come to remove my remains and clear up his room."

"Kaname…"Cross felt a chill running through his spine. Why had he overlooked this possibility when sending the email out? Even sitting in waiting for hours, none of them had thought about it, that the pureblood wouldn't just come here to give some comfort. "You… you want to convert him back to human one more time?" How could it be possible? How could the pureblood unhesitantly use his remaining eye, the rest of his strength to create another opportunity for his lover? "He… doesn't love you anymore… he… has forgotten you…"

"It's fine. He shouldn't remember me. You must promise me to let him believe in whatever he can read and hear about me. Please don't try to defend me, don't let anything provoke him to dig in his past again. I hope he will be at peace with himself. I hope he will find someone special, and experience the happiness that my whole life has been craving for."

The door was abruptly banged open, Zero rushed in to embrace the slim figure next to Cross. He couldn't restrain himself to stay out a minute longer, the emotion overwhelming his senses was urging him not to torment this person more than what he had suffered. It was a stupid test, did he really need it to understand how much Kaname loved him? He couldn't get over his own selfishness, he thought it was unfair for him, while the pureblood had never hesistated as far as he was concerned, even sacrificing his own life and not ever being acknowledged, even forever falling into oblivion…

Love, he couldn't give him, but his embrace wouldn't loosen…

_-to be continued-_

_If you're still around, I will continue writing. Thank you for your support!_


End file.
